February is the month that we correlate with love. You know as the song says, “a crazy little thing called love.” Do our head and heart work together and come up with a plan? Do they see a certain person and the head tells the heart this the first crush or this is the one who will be the lasting and deep attachment?
Have you ever wondered why we fall in love with the one person and not another? We all have been on life’s roller coaster of phases of love. You know they range from the first love-puppy love to that everlasting love and even the love of your life. I think your head analyzes the situation and surroundings and then your heart puts it all into perspective.
Your head is the one asking the questions. How does he look? Is she dependable? Is he financially sound? Are her teeth straight? Then the heart has its own set of questions that are laced with emotions such as sacrifice, commitment, honesty, and passion. So while all these complexities are zinging back and forth between the heart and the head, the reality of the situation sinks in and you realize there are really no guarantees in some of these love stages – and it’s not like buying a car that comes with a 5 year warranty or a new blender that comes with a full refund if you don’t like it. No, there really aren’t any assurances of performance or longevity. However, once you say those two simple words, “I do,” then the heart and the head should close off all the escape routes, throw away all the keys and keep love captured until death do us part!
I hope you will use February 14th as a reminder of that honor and responsibility. I know, Valentine’s comes pretty quickly after Christmas, and you’ve just had to figure out what do for that occasion, but think flowers, mushy cards, champagne and chocolates. Everyone scrambles around like a rat in a maze trying to decide where to eat, how much to spend, what to buy and even what to wear. This special day is as much about the doing, as it is the getting. It is about the romance and the roses. Valentines’ is a day to strengthen that trust and that bond between two people. So many times the romance fades after months of dating or the honeymoon. You ask yourself, “Where is that chemistry?” Let me ask you. Are you putting in the effort? Are you investing your emotions? Are you making sure that significant other knows he or she is worth working through the disappointments, the flaws, and the bad times?
Love needs nourishment and everyone wants to be loved. We have an entire generation of kids who need to see what real love looks like. They need to see commitment, trust, honor and until death do us part. Relationships are not easy. They require daily work just like everything else in life, yet we think just because the heart and the head make a selection that we can mark the love box off the list and just move onto the next item and the relationship will flourish. News flash! That ain’t happening! Invest in your relationship; invest in your marriage!
Let’s face it, we are all not Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, be we all have endearing qualities that when polished and honed will hopefully put us in the “secure” phase of love. It’s a place we should all hope to be. So use February 14th as a reminder to cultivate the romance for the rest of the year. Mark a day each and every month to remind you to invest in your 401k called love. Don’t just use this one day a year as the only occasion that your heart and head prepare and plan to be romantic, but let it be a reminder to be enthusiastic all year about your relationship. Make a habit of holding hands, opening the car door, asking an opinion, passing a compliment, leaving a note in the briefcase or the car seat. The gift doesn’t always have to be purchased. The heart and the head are pretty smart cookies; give them a little rope and they will give you longitude and latitude to spread your love even to those people who have been labeled unloved! Hopefully this will keep the “wishing we had done it differently” to a minimum and ensure you of many years of happily ever afters!
Photo credit by: SeeMidTN.com (aka Brent)
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