Q: On average, how often does a man my age, 54, in a steady relationship have sex? I usually have it once to twice a week but never more. When I was young there were never any problems but now I feel like I’m really slowing down. — RM
Dr. Pepper Schwartz: The good and bad news is that you’re average at once a week for your age; when you’re over 60, having sex twice a week you’re doing better than average.
Men tend to slow down as they get older. Your drive lessens because of decreasing testosterone levels and because of other medical and physical conditions. Aging knees, weaker backs, less overall energy are all possible reasons for wanting to read a good book rather than have that third night of love making.
This is just a natural phenomenon. Some older men are extraordinary and have amazing sex drive and physical abilities, but most men over 50 and 60 resemble you. Perhaps the thing to is just to enjoy the sexual times you do have , try to make them quality experiences and then use cuddling, stroking, kissing and other sensual or affectionate behavior in-between love making sessions to keep your relationship close and emotionally fulfilling.