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Can We Talk? The Conversation Project
Posted By Sally Abrahms On August 15, 2012 @ 4:19 pm In Take Care | Comments Disabled
Dying may be taking a turn for the better. People, it seems, are beginning to talk about end-of-life  issues before the end.
Surveys  show that 70% of people want to die at home, yet 70% die in hospitals or nursing homes. Who would want that to happen to them, their spouse, parent or friend? Or anyone?
One person who certainly doesn’t is former syndicated columnist Ellen Goodman . Over the past two years, Goodman and others – clergy, physicians, journalists, caregivers, and now the Institute for Healthcare Improvement – have worked on creating a national movement to get people to talk about their end-of-life wishes.
It’s called The Conversation Project , and this week Goodman launched its website. She hopes to get the subject started around the kitchen table. Before there’s a problem.
“Talking  about end-of-life has been a cultural taboo,” says Goodman. “It’s a hard topic because it encompasses loss. But you have to have the conversation early. Decisions will be made for you if you don’t make them yourself.”
Goodman’s mother died  four years ago. “I was unprepared,” she says. “She did say, ‘if I’m ever like that, pull the plug,’ but there was no plug. I regret I didn’t have her voice in my head when I was making those choices. We never had a thorough conversation; so many people have the same story.”
The new website should make it easier to broach this topic with parents, adult children, a relative, friend or a dear neighbor.
The site has a “kit” to help readers start these difficult conversations , links to resources, info on critical documents (power of attorney, healthcare proxy, living will) and a section of shared stories the public can read or add to.
Goodman has these tips to get the ball rolling:
For terrific articles on end-of-life: Goodman’s “Die the Way You Want To” in the Harvard Business Review , “A Life Worth Ending” by Michael Wolfe in New York Magazine  and Joe Klein’s TIME  piece “How to Die: What I Learned from the Last Days of Mom and Dad.”
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URL to article: http://blog.aarp.org/2012/08/15/can-we-talk-the-conversation-project/
URLs in this post:
 Image: http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/240-talk-coversation-about-dying-with-parents.jpeg
 end-of-life: http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving-resource-center/info-09-2010/elc_end_of_life_discussion_video.html
 Surveys: http://hbr.org/2012/01/tackling-social-problems/
 Ellen Goodman: http://www.ellengoodman.com
 The Conversation Project: http://www.theconversationproject.org
 Talking: http://www.aarp.org/health/doctors-hospitals/info-05-2011/end-of-life-support-for-families.html
 died: http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-06-2012/when-loved-one-dies-checklist.html
 difficult conversations: http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-08-2012/a-conversation-worth-having-vt1791.html
 New York Magazine: http://nymag.com/news/features/parent-health-care-2012-5/
 TIME: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2116137,00.html?pcd=pw-tum
 www.sallyabrahms.com: http://www.sallyabrahms.com
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