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I Don’t Want to Have Sex With My Overweight Wife

Posted By Dr. Pepper Schwartz On November 20, 2012 @ 10:04 am In Relationships | Comments Disabled

[1]Q: I’m a man who has been married for 34 years. I love my soulmate, but I don’t have it in me anymore to make love to her when she’s overweight and has been for some time. I just can’t do it anymore. And now I feel depressed with no romance. I have no desire for sex anymore and I know my wife is aware. I love her and feel as  if there is nothing left but to wait until life is over. Is this really all there is?

Dr. Pepper Schwartz: I understand your situation, but I think there is hope if you get on an exercise and diet [2] program together. You may not need to lose weight, but everyone can tone and shape into a better version of themselves [3]. It will be good for you, too! Your wife is probably unhappy with how she looks and if you are there to support and guide her, it will make a world of difference.

Find out what kind of exercise she likes. Maybe start with one-mile walks, then build up to two miles, etc. Buy a pair of bikes and takes rides together exploring your town. Get a dog [4] and walk it together. Join a coed dance class together. In other words, do fun activities that support the marriage, get her moving and get her feeling better about her body, and also into a regimen where she starts losing some weight and gains the belief that she really could look better.

As for nutrition, share meals instead of having them separately. Indulge in a splurge meal once a week, but help each other eat well every other time. Join Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig or a similar program [5] together. If she is grossly overweight, ask her doctor what medical programs you can start.

Don’t give up — be part of the solution. It is possible to get the wife you once desired back into a shape that will make you both happier and healthier.

Dr. Schwartz answers questions [6] every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Submit your question here [7]Read more of Pepper’s columns here [8]. And be sure to follow Pepper on Twitter @pepperschwartz [9].

Photo by puuikibeach [10] via CreativeCommons.org [11].


Article printed from AARP: http://blog.aarp.org

URL to article: http://blog.aarp.org/2012/11/20/pepper-schwartz-weight-hampers-our-sex-life/

URLs in this post:

[1] Image: http://blog.aarp.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/feet-on-a-scale.jpg

[2] exercise and diet: http://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/

[3] better version of themselves: http://blog.aarp.org/2010/01/26/another_reason_to_get_and_stay

[4] Get a dog: http://blog.aarp.org/2012/10/04/need-help-getting-fit-after-50-adopt-a-dog

[5] Join Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig or a similar program: http://blog.aarp.org/2011/09/08/the-takeaway-weight-watchers-fashion-icons-middle-ageism-and-fines-for-too-little-marital-sex

[6] answers questions: http://blog.aarp.org/tag/ask-pepper/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS

[7] Submit your question here: http://www.aarp.org/relationships/experts/pepper_schwartz/ask_pepper_a_question/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS

[8] columns here: http://www.aarp.org/relationships/experts/pepper_schwartz/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS

[9] @pepperschwartz: http://twitter.com/#%21/pepperschwartz

[10] puuikibeach: http://www.flickr.com/photos/puuikibeach/

[11] CreativeCommons.org: http://www.CreativeCommons.org

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