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5 Things on a Mother’s To-Do List for Mother’s Day

When the kids were growing up, Mother’s Day brought breakfast (crumbs) in bed, handmade gifts and special dinners. But with adult children, is the notion of “Queen for a Day” as outdated as the 1960s TV show?

All checked - green text marker ticking check boxesOver the years, our fantasy changes: At one time we wanted 10 minutes alone to take a shower. Now we want our adult children under the same roof at the same time. Stoked by the advertising hype, it’s easy to imagine a magical Mother’s Day, only to be disappointed when we don’t get a card, a call, a visit or some token of their appreciation for all we have done!

For a reality check, we talked to Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist who wrote Tending the Family Heart and mother of four children ages 24 to 34. “Moms can end up distressed when their expectations are not met,” she agrees. “Then they become angry and lay a guilt trip on the adult children who have their own lives, sometimes more complicated then they’re willing to share.”

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Drawing on advice from Hartwell-Walker and several friends, we compiled a Mother’s Day “to-do” list to avoid disappointment this Sunday:

 

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Mary W. Quigley’s blog, Mothering21, tackles parenting of emerging adults and beyond.

Photo: eyewave/iStockphoto

 

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