Sex & Relationships

As AARP's sex and relationship expert, Pepper Schwartz aims to improve the lives of the age-50-plus audience by enhancing their relationships and offering counsel on everything from sex and health issues to communication and dating.

Online Dating: Showing My (Real) Age

Q: I am a 78-year-old widow, intelligent, friendly, self-sufficient, well-groomed and well-read. My problem is how to word my online profile so that men who are slightly younger will not write me off. I am in excellent health and interested in everything around me. I can still do everything I did when I was 50. I would be a good fit for the right man 10 years my junior, but men don’t seem to consider this possibility, and there don’t …

Is This Worth My Time?

Q: I am a 65-year-old man who had a transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) done to reduce an enlarged prostate 10 years ago. Ever since then, even though I achieve an erection, it is not as strong, nor can I maintain it for long. I have been using Viagra, which was covered to a degree under my company insurance, but now that I am on Medicare it will no longer be covered. I have heard a lot about various …

Premature Ejaculation: Is It Fixable?

Q: My wife seems to want intercourse only but I have a problem with premature ejaculation (PE). In my previous marriage, I satisfied my ex-wife with oral sex and then we’d have short intercourse. My current wife won’t let me perform oral sex, but I believe it’s because she prefers intercourse. Part of my problem is that her ex was long-lasting and I can’t get it out of my head. She won’t go to counseling. We did, and it was …

Depression Meds in the Way of Sex

Q: My husband and I both enjoy sex, but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have been on all kinds of medication for 10-plus years. I cannot do without them. I also cannot achieve orgasm. I’ve been to so many doctors, and they all say the same thing: It’s my meds. My question is: Do I have to pick between being happy on my meds, or having an orgasm? Lately it’s getting hard to pick. I really need …

Finding the Healthy Sexual Aid for Him

Q: My wife doesn’t want me to take prescription sexual aids, such as Viagra, because she fears I’ll have a heart attack or stroke. It worked well for me, the first and only time I got to use it. In her defense, I did suffer a heart attack at 38. My question is, are there alternative over-the-counter drugs or natural herbs that can help? Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Have you talked to a doctor about this? I would at least get …

Dealing With the Effects of a Pregnancy

Q: I am a 58-year-old female with a medical problem: a rectal leakage, due to my last pregnancy. I am not in a relationship, only because I am afraid that this issue will cause a problem in my sex life. What shall I do? Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Go see a doctor – a gynecologist or specialist in intestinal issues would be preferred. It seems to me that there should be a procedure that would be able to stop the leakage. …