Sex & Relationships

As AARP's sex and relationship expert, Pepper Schwartz aims to improve the lives of the age-50-plus audience by enhancing their relationships and offering counsel on everything from sex and health issues to communication and dating.

Not a Typical Movie Night

Q: Could you recommend good sex videos for older couples? My husband and I have been together 35 years, and we see ads in the newspaper for such videos. We’d like to view them, but their websites seem flaky and not very knowledgeable about issues of older couples. We’d like to watch videos to possibly learn some different techniques.  Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Good for you! You can get wonderful ideas and tips from videos (and they can be a turn-on, …

Online Dating: Showing My (Real) Age

Q: I am a 78-year-old widow, intelligent, friendly, self-sufficient, well-groomed and well-read. My problem is how to word my online profile so that men who are slightly younger will not write me off. I am in excellent health and interested in everything around me. I can still do everything I did when I was 50. I would be a good fit for the right man 10 years my junior, but men don’t seem to consider this possibility, and there don’t …

Is This Worth My Time?

Q: I am a 65-year-old man who had a transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) done to reduce an enlarged prostate 10 years ago. Ever since then, even though I achieve an erection, it is not as strong, nor can I maintain it for long. I have been using Viagra, which was covered to a degree under my company insurance, but now that I am on Medicare it will no longer be covered. I have heard a lot about various …

Premature Ejaculation: Is It Fixable?

Q: My wife seems to want intercourse only but I have a problem with premature ejaculation (PE). In my previous marriage, I satisfied my ex-wife with oral sex and then we’d have short intercourse. My current wife won’t let me perform oral sex, but I believe it’s because she prefers intercourse. Part of my problem is that her ex was long-lasting and I can’t get it out of my head. She won’t go to counseling. We did, and it was …

Depression Meds in the Way of Sex

Q: My husband and I both enjoy sex, but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have been on all kinds of medication for 10-plus years. I cannot do without them. I also cannot achieve orgasm. I’ve been to so many doctors, and they all say the same thing: It’s my meds. My question is: Do I have to pick between being happy on my meds, or having an orgasm? Lately it’s getting hard to pick. I really need …

Finding the Healthy Sexual Aid for Him

Q: My wife doesn’t want me to take prescription sexual aids, such as Viagra, because she fears I’ll have a heart attack or stroke. It worked well for me, the first and only time I got to use it. In her defense, I did suffer a heart attack at 38. My question is, are there alternative over-the-counter drugs or natural herbs that can help? Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Have you talked to a doctor about this? I would at least get …