Role Reversal in a Marriage

Q: In some marriages, the male and female roles are reversed. Is this normal, or is this a problem? I would like to read something on this; do you know of a website? A: The best thing about being a man or a woman in an intimate relationship these days is that there are no rules. Rather, people can decide on whatever division of labor helps them reach their mutual goals the fastest. So if the husband of an ambitious, …

Who Wears the Panties in This House?

Q: I am a 50-year-old male. I shave my legs for various reasons, and my wife is OK with it. (She’s even told me how sexy it is in bed.) I also wear thong-style and men’s nylon underwear. Now I’d like to start wearing satin women’s underwear. How should I bring this up to my wife? It seems she’s already somewhat supportive. A: Quite a few men derive pleasure from wearing women’s clothes, especially bras and panties. Before you broach …

Of Cuddling, Companionship and Coitus

Q: Is there such a thing as having a girl-girl relationship with just cuddling and kissing and no oral sex or titillation tactics? I’m not into sex — never really have been — just companionship. (I’m 61, and have been hetero ’til now.) A: If you’ve never felt this way before, the urge to get physically closer to another woman must be an emotionally complex experience for you. Is sexual orientation fixed early in our development? That’s what some researchers …

Solo Sex @ 90+

Q: You omitted an entire group of people in your article for AARP The Magazine on “Sex After 50.” There are those of us who are wa-a-ay over 50 and still enjoy sex, even though it’s solo. I don’t know about men, but I really think women stay more alive and “with it” in every way when they self-pleasure. I have some very good mechanical friends that I enjoy; care to comment on that for the group you overlooked? A: …

After 30 Years of Marriage, Now He Wants Porn?

Q: My husband of 30 years suddenly insisted on introducing pornography into our marriage. (He also wanted us to be “swingers.” I said no.) I tried instructional sex videos, but stopped when they turned into mere porn. This is my second marriage, and I had other partners between marriages. I like oral sex and multiple positions, but my husband now calls me a prude, rigid, superstitious Christian zealot for refusing to watch these sex videos. At his insistence, we now …

Intercourse Alternatives 101

Q: We have been happily married for 58 years. We are Christians and active in our church. We both have college degrees. Over the years we have enjoyed our intimacy, but not nearly as often as years ago. My husband has sugar diabetes and is impotent. We miss not being able to have intercourse. Oral sex is not appealing. I know there are prescriptions available, but I don’t want something to harm his health. I’d appreciate any new thoughts. A: …