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	<title>AARP</title>
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		<title>AARP</title>
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		<title>Carlos Fuentes on Writing: &#8220;A Force Beyond My Control&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/carlos-fuentes-on-writing-a-force-beyond-my-control/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/carlos-fuentes-on-writing-a-force-beyond-my-control/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 17:02:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gabriela Zabalua</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Your Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[carlos fuentes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death of artemio cruz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=25002</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/your-life/" title="View all posts in Your Life" rel="category tag">Your Life</a></span>“Did my wife put you up to this?” Carlos Fuentes asked me when I insisted he wear a tie for our (AARP VIVA’s) on-camera interview and cover photo shoot. Fuentes, an elegant soul, a gentleman, and a literary master, was also stubborn as a mule. I say this partly as a compliment, for I too am stubborn as all good Basques should be; but I was equally frustrated, for he had already <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/carlos-fuentes-on-writing-a-force-beyond-my-control/" class="more">tried my patience the day before when he ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=25002&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/carlos-fuentes-on-writing-a-force-beyond-my-control/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/AojlT1u8VWQ/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span>
<p>“Did my wife put you up to this?” Carlos Fuentes asked me when I insisted he wear a tie for our (AARP VIVA’s) on-camera interview and cover photo shoot. Fuentes, an elegant soul, a gentleman, and a literary master, was also stubborn as a mule. I say this partly as a compliment, for I too am stubborn as all good Basques should be; but I was equally frustrated, for he had already tried my patience the day before when he cancelled our session: “It’s getting late” he had explained, “and I have a lunch date with my wife,” a daily occurrence for the profoundly in-love couple of 35 years.</p>
<p>Fuentes did not wear a tie that day nor any of the cashmere sweaters and shirts we had carefully selected for him, but that was all forgotten the minute the interview started.</p>
<p>He took us all on a ride of emotions as he spoke about his love of history, politics, his country, the loss of two of his children and how he kept their memories alive &#8220;by dedicating every word of every book I have written since&#8221;, and how it all led him to prolific story telling. “A force beyond my control,&#8221; Fuentes explained, “sometimes the stories are complete in my mind before I have the time to write them down”.</p>
<p>The prelude of his last novel, Destiny and Desire ends like this:</p>
<blockquote><p><em>&#8220;I had a body.&#8221; &#8220;I was a body.&#8221; &#8220;Will I be a soul&#8221;?</em></p></blockquote>
<p>Carlos Fuentes died yesterday. He was 83. <em>Que en paz descanse.</em></p>
<p><em>Read my full interview with Carlos Fuentes <a href="http://www.aarp.org/entertainment/books/info-03-2011/carlos-fuentes.html">here.</a></em></p>
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			<media:title type="html">Gabriela Goddard with Carlos Fuentes, 2012</media:title>
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		<title>A Mother’s Love is Special, it’s Never too Late to Say Happy Mother’s Day</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-mothers-love-is-special-its-never-too-late-to-say-happy-mothers-day/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-mothers-love-is-special-its-never-too-late-to-say-happy-mothers-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 14:21:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leigh Anne Tuohy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Your Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[greeting cards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Leigh Anne Tuohy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mothers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mothers day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the blind side]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24960</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/relationships/" title="View all posts in Relationships" rel="category tag">Relationships</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/your-life/" title="View all posts in Your Life" rel="category tag">Your Life</a></span>Upon my weekly, actually sometimes daily, ritual of going to Walgreens and Target, which are both a block from my house, I couldn&#8217;t help but get caught up in all the Mother&#8217;s Day merchandise that was now on sale. Wow, so many things were not purchased for that special person who we all refer to as Mom. I immediately glanced over at all the greeting cards that had a big red sign over them that read <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-mothers-love-is-special-its-never-too-late-to-say-happy-mothers-day/" class="more"> &#8221;half-price&#8221;&#8230;hmmm&#8230;I wondered what did one card say that ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24960&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Upon my weekly, actually sometimes daily, ritual of going to Walgreens and Target, which are both a block from my house, I couldn&#8217;t help but get caught up in all the Mother&#8217;s Day merchandise that was now on sale. Wow, so many things were not purchased for that special person who we all refer to as Mom. I immediately glanced over at all the greeting cards that had a big red sign over them that read  &#8221;half-price&#8221;&#8230;hmmm&#8230;I wondered what did one card say that inspired someone to purchase it versus these sad unselected ones that were screaming out, &#8220;Buy me; I&#8217;m on sale.&#8221;</p>
<div id="attachment_24973" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 226px"><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/3459941822_63cf2eab3d.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-24973" title="3459941822_63cf2eab3d" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/3459941822_63cf2eab3d.jpg?w=216&h=300" alt="A Mother's Day Card" width="216" height="300" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">A Mother&#8217;s Day Card</p></div>
<p>Apparently each card left on this sale rack did not convey the message of Mother&#8217;s Day to the person reading them. So, I spent a moment or two checking out these leftovers. Each messages that I read was rather bland and certainly didn&#8217;t stir me and apparently didn&#8217;t evoke any emotion in the ones who had come before me either. Each card definitely had its own appeal. However, I would not have selected them for anything other than one of my kids’ school projects! They were pretty much generic catch phrases or a corny poem that wasn&#8217;t working. Some were well wishes from across the miles and some were to the best mom in the world and had a trophy with a blue ribbon on the front of the card. I&#8217;m really glad no one bought that bad boy!</p>
<p>My mother always requires a special card. It always has to be the Big Kahuna of cards, the commander-in-chief card&#8230;.she has extremely high expectations. The 99-cent card would absolutely not do it for my mother. So, as I looked at all these unselected, unloved, Mother&#8217;s Day cards, I was curious if this past Sunday had been memorable to the mothers of the world or to the ones who have acted as a mother to so many? I know from personal experience that you don&#8217;t have to carry children for nine months to love them or to be a mother to them. Love can grow in your heart just like it can grow in your stomach.</p>
<p>I began to hope that this past week people took the time to seek out those people who might not have birthed them but have had an impact on their lives. Was it a grandmother, an aunt, a sister, a next door neighbor, a best friend&#8217;s mother, a guidance counselor, a foster mother, a boss, a teacher, a Bible study leader, a mother-in-law? Who was it who instilled confidence in you when none was there?  Is there a person whom you failed to acknowledge last Sunday who knew even though you always looked like a beautiful, graceful duck swimming elegantly across a lake and on the outside you always appeared cool, calm and collected, yet she knew on the inside you were paddling like crazy to stay afloat? Who is that person who always desires the best for you, encourages your dreams and hopes right along beside you?</p>
<p>We don&#8217;t have to limit the &#8220;mothering&#8221; list to just one. It does not have to be the lady who carried you around for nine months. That really was nothing more than a mode of transportation! Mothering is an all encompassing word! It is a little bit of this and a little bit of that. A mother is one who raises you, teaches you, feeds you, inspires you, lets you know when you are being difficult, challenges you to be better, soft-pedals your wrong doings and loves you unconditionally. Did that list mention anything about giving birth? No, I don&#8217;t think it did. As humans we have a need to pigeon-hole everything and wrap it up in an explainable package. There is not enough wrapping paper in the entire world to wrap up the who, how, why or when you are called upon to be a mother. Every time we encourage someone we give him or her a shot of mothering. Keeping someone balanced in this difficult world of ours or helping someone reclaim joy or renewing someone&#8217;s perspective when that person thought that was not possible&#8230;that is mothering.</p>
<p>Who&#8217;s the person you pick up the phone to call not only to share good news with but just to talk about your plain old ordinary day? Yes, usually when we think of the word mothering we think of someone kissing a baby&#8217;s fears away or someone who sugarcoats everything or the one who never pronounces a bad situation hopeless. And yes, that definitely describes a mother as well. But being a mother is many times a dirty, stinky, thankless job and in my world no matter how many times we have to get dirty we always return for more. So whether this person in your life cared for you, supervised you or taught you, she obviously had an impact on your life.</p>
<p>My mom always taught me it is never too late to do the right thing. So if by chance you missed that special lady on Mother&#8217;s Day. It&#8217;s not too late. We mothers are a fraternal group. We take love and attention any place, any where and any time we can get it. So run through the names in your cell phone, check on your email contact list or flip through the old fashion rolodex and find that person who had a part in making you who you are today. You are one of the lucky ones! There is someone in this world who cares if you take your next breath, someone who thinks you are magnificent but will tell you that you acted miserably. If you have one of these &#8220;mothers&#8221; in your life then consider it a priceless treasure. I&#8217;m now going to give you a little motherly advice, even though you didn&#8217;t ask for it. Run up to Walgreens or Target and grab one of those leftover cards or send a text or pick up the phone and give her a jingle. Anytime is a good time to hear, &#8220;Happy Mother&#8217;s Day!&#8221; It will be a magical moment for her. I promise!                  </p>
<p><em>Photo credit by:  <a id="yui_3_5_0_3_1337180127503_248" href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/pedestriantype/">Carolyn_Sewell</a></em></p>
<p><em>Don’t forget to</em><em> follow me on Twitter <a href="http://www.twitter.com/LeighAnneTuohy">@LeighAnneTuohy</a> and play #TuohyTrivia on Tuesdays for a chance to win a $25 donation to the charity of your choice for answering the question correctly. Learn more about my family’s charity at <a href="http://www.makingithappenfoundation.com/">The Making It Happen Foundation</a>.</em></p>
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		<title>The Takeaway: Future 401(k)s Will Look More Like Old-School Pensions</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/the-takeaway-future-401ks-will-look-more-like-old-school-pensions/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/the-takeaway-future-401ks-will-look-more-like-old-school-pensions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 12:42:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Elizabeth Nolan Brown</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News Roundups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[401(k) plans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[investing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pensions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[retirement security]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[saving money]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24947</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/news-roundups/" title="View all posts in News Roundups" rel="category tag">News Roundups</a></span>More 401(k) plan sponsors are offering to pay benefits in a form that guarantees a set level of monthly income, regardless of how long you live. And more employers are beginning to offer these plans, Time&#8217;s Dan Kadlec reports. &#8220;Before long your 401(k) may look a lot more like your dad’s pension,&#8221; writes Kadlec. That’s a good thing. Traditional pensions that pay a set monthly income to retirees, based on their wages and length of service, <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/the-takeaway-future-401ks-will-look-more-like-old-school-pensions/" class="more">were once the foundation of retirement. Along with ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24947&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/200-pensions-return.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-24955" title="200-pensions-return" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/200-pensions-return.jpg?w=640" alt=""   /></a>More 401(k) plan sponsors are offering to pay <strong>benefits</strong> in a form that guarantees a set level of monthly income, regardless of how long you live. And more employers are beginning to offer these plans, <a href="http://moneyland.time.com/2012/05/16/the-future-of-retirement-401ks-that-look-like-old-fashioned-pensions/#ixzz1v27EMISQ"><em>Time&#8217;s</em> Dan Kadlec</a> reports. &#8220;Before long your <strong>401(k)</strong> may look a lot more like your dad’s <strong>pension</strong>,&#8221; writes Kadlec.</p>
<blockquote><p>That’s a good thing. Traditional pensions that pay a set monthly income to retirees, based on their wages and length of service, were once the foundation of retirement. Along with Social Security, this benefit covered the bulk of a retiree’s fixed costs until death.</p></blockquote>
<p>These days, however, only one in three workers under 35 are eligible for even greatly reduced pension benefits. And only 8 percent of all workers say a pension will be their main source of retirement income. Instead, most rely on tax-deferred 401(k) and IRA plans—that is, if they contribute to any retirement plan. A recent survey found almost half of working-age Americans aren&#8217;t contributing to a plan at all.</p>
<p><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/the-takeaway-number-of-long-term-unemployed-workers-55-rose-sharply-since-2007/">Yesterday</a>, I mentioned <a href="http://www.investmentnews.com/article/20120514/FREE/120519972">a poll</a> that found Gen X and Y workers wish they had more access to pension-style retirement accounts. And they soon will—sort of. According to the 2012 BlackRock Retirement Survey, one in five employers plan to introduce new investment options—including but not limited to annuities—that would, effectively, make 401(k)s work more like traditional pension plans. Nearly all workers believe their 401(k) plan should have a guaranteed income option and  75 percent employers believe its their responsibility to provide one, BlackRock found.</p>
<blockquote><p>This represents a seismic shift in thinking,&#8221; writes Kadlec. &#8220;Just a few years ago, employers were reluctant to even consider annuity-like options. They were seen as too conservative; 401(k) plans were meant to build assets over the long haul. But as 401(k) plans emerged as the prime source of savings for most workers, this view softened. The 401(k) plan, once the gravy, is now the meat and potatoes of retirement security.</p></blockquote>
<p>According to a Transamerica survey <em>Redefining Retirement: The New Retirement Readiness</em>,<em> </em>43 percent of American adults believe retirement security should be a priority for the next president and congress.</p>
<p><strong>Wednesday Quick Hits:</strong></p>
<ul>
<li>Former Secretary of State <strong>Henry Kissenger</strong> was given a &#8220;full pat-down&#8221; by TSA agents at LaGuaria Airport, <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in-the-loop/post/henry-kissinger-gets-tsa-pat-down/2012/05/14/gIQAHDgBPU_blog.html?tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost"><em>Washington Post</em> notes</a>. Agents didn&#8217;t seem to recognize the 85-year-old Nobel Peace Prize winner, but were concerned by his wheelchair.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Country legend <strong>Glen Campbell</strong> is <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/reliable-source/post/glenn-campbell-out-front-with-alzheimers-diagnosis-and-activism/2012/05/15/gIQAr5z8RU_blog.html">calling for more government action</a> on fighting Alzheimer&#8217;s disease. Since <a href="http://www.aarp.org/entertainment/music/info-08-2011/glen-campbell-final-memory-for-fans.html">announcing his own Alzheimer&#8217;s diagnosis</a>, Campbell has continued to tour and to speak out (with his daughter&#8217;s help) about Alzheimer&#8217;s issues.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><strong>Suzanne Somers</strong> has a new book called <em>Bombshell: Explosive Medical Secrets That Will Redefine Aging</em>. Say what you will about its subject—largely, hormone replacement therapy—but the 65-year-old author/actress does have an inspiring outlook: “My age is my asset,&#8221; <a href="http://www.bostonherald.com/track/celebrity/view.bg?articleid=1061131861&amp;srvc=home&amp;position=emailed">she says</a>. &#8220;My wisdom and perspective makes living more enjoyable and understandable. My health is perfect, my energy is unstoppable, I like the way I look, I like the way I feel, and I like that sex is an important part of my life experience.”</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The Department of Health and Human Services <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/sally-abrahms-national-alzheimers-act/">has unrolled a new national plan</a> (and website) for combatting <strong>Alzheimer&#8217;s</strong> in America.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>And in Long Island, an estranged husband and wife (they separated last year after 32 years of marriage) <a href="http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/15/11716985-amid-separation-husband-challenges-wife-for-new-york-assembly-seat?lite">are running for the same seat</a> in the New York State Assembly.</li>
</ul>
<div><em> Photo: Karen Beard/Blend Images/Corbis</em></div>
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		<title>AARP at the TV Upfronts: Five Shows We Can’t Wait to Watch</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/aarp-at-the-tv-upfronts-five-shows-we-cant-wait-to-watch/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/aarp-at-the-tv-upfronts-five-shows-we-cant-wait-to-watch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 12:41:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Beth Carpenter</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Entertainment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to live with your parents]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mob doctor fox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[revolution nbc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[television]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the following]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the new normal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upfronts]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24951</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/entertainment/" title="View all posts in Entertainment" rel="category tag">Entertainment</a></span>The following is a guest post from AARP entertainment writer Austin O&#8217;Connor.  Here’s one thing I’ve learned during the first two days of the network upfronts in New York City: Attending these annual glitzed-up PowerPoint presentations — when the nets unveil their upcoming fall lineups to assembled advertisers and brand partners — as a writer for AARP is a little like attending a high school prom as a parent chaperone. Sure, you’re there, <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/aarp-at-the-tv-upfronts-five-shows-we-cant-wait-to-watch/" class="more">but it’s really not about you. See, for ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24951&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/402886169_47eebcefa4.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-24952" title="402886169_47eebcefa4" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/402886169_47eebcefa4.jpg?w=300&h=199" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a></p>
<p><em>The following is a guest post from AARP entertainment writer Austin O&#8217;Connor. </em></p>
<p>Here’s one thing I’ve learned during the first two days of the network upfronts in New York City: Attending these annual glitzed-up PowerPoint presentations — when the nets unveil their upcoming fall lineups to assembled advertisers and brand partners — as a writer for AARP is a little like attending a high school prom as a parent chaperone. Sure, you’re there, but it’s really not about you.</p>
<p>See, for broadcast TV networks, viewers over 50 are nice, but not really necessary. The focus for them (and more importantly, for the advertisers on hand this week) is on viewers  aged 18-49 — and the younger you fall on that spectrum, the better.</p>
<p>On Monday at Radio City Music Hall, NBC Entertainment President Bob Greenblatt veered into talk of the 50+ audience only once, and even then it was a passing mention of growth in the 35-54 demographic (if you’re 55 or older, better just turn off your set). Later that day, uptown at the Beacon Theatre, Fox Entertainment President Kevin Reilly never even gave the 50+ crowd that much attention, focusing his introduction on millenials and the various screens (VOD and streaming mobile in addition to TV sets) on which they expect to be able to watch their shows whenever they want to watch them. If you’re still sitting on the couch with a clicker in hand waiting for your favorite show to start, you’re a dinosaur in these parts. And, at least according to them, you’re certainly not about to go out and buy a new car or change your preferred brand of sneakers.</p>
<p>On Tuesday at Lincoln Center, ABC Entertainment honcho Paul Lee seemed a bit more interested in casting a wider net, noting that his network hopes to “tell stories that are relevant to all ages.” Of course, he immediately followed that up by bragging that two of his network’s recent successes, Suburgatory and Revenge, were pushed by the casting of millenials Jane Levy and Emily VanCamp as the respective leads. Sure, but just try to imagine Revenge without Madeleine Stowe. See what I mean?</p>
<p>OK, enough with the generational warfare. CBS (“a great way to reach the 18-49 trips to the bathroom demographic,” as ABC late night host Jimmy Kimmel joked during his net’s upfront) is on deck to unveil its lineup on Wednesday. The oldest-skewing network (and tops in overall audience — just sayin’) is sure to pay more attention to the graying viewers who have pushed it to its perch. I’ll have a report on the best of the CBS upfront tomorrow (along with partner cable nets TBS and TNT), but for now here are five new shows already announced this week that have me excited for the fall (with 50+ talent in bold):</p>
<ul>
<li>Revolution (NBC, Mondays 10/9C): What would happen if the power went out on the entire planet — for good? This provocative new sci-fi series, from Lost creator J.J. Abrams, poses that question. On a powerless Earth fifteen years after just such a global blackout, a young woman sets off on a quest to avenge her father’s killing at the hands of a militia. Stars include Billy Burke, Tracy Spiridakos and <strong>Giancarlo Esposito</strong>. <em>Iron Man</em> director Jon Favreau helmed the pilot. You can watch the trailer <a href="http://www.nbc.com/revolution/?__source=nbc-dd">here.</a></li>
<li>The Mob Doctor (Fox, Mondays 9/8C): Think The Firm, only with a doctor instead of a lawyer. (Here&#8217;s <a href="http://www.fox.com/programming/shows/?sh=the-mob-doctor">the trailer</a>.) A beautiful Chicago surgeon (Jordana Spiro) ends up in deep with the mob because of her brother’s gambling debts. Ever wondered who treats (and covers for) mobsters with injuries and wounds not easily explained in the ER? She does. Also stars Zach Gilford, <strong>William Forsythe</strong> and <strong>Zeljko Ivanek</strong>.</li>
<li>How To Live With Your Parents (For the Rest of Your Life)/The Family Tools (ABC, early 2013). OK, so we’ll have to wait a little bit for these two promising sitcoms, both of which feature older actors and intergenerational themes. How to Live is about a single mom (Scrubs’ Sarah Chalke) who moves, along with her young daughter, back in with her mom and stepdad (<strong>Elizabeth Perkins</strong> and <strong>Brad Garrett</strong>). In The Family Tools, the indispensable <strong>JK Simmons</strong> is a handyman turning his fix-it business over to his bumbling son (Kyle Bornheimer). Watch The Family Tools clip <a href="http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/the-family-tools">here</a>, and  the clip from How to Live <a href="http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/how-to-live-with-your-parents">here</a>.</li>
<li>The New Normal (NBC, Tuesdays, 9:30/8:30C): From Glee creator Ryan Murphy comes another intergenerational sitcom with potential. The show centers around a gay couple and the surrogate mom who’s having their baby, but look for <strong>Ellen Barkin</strong> to be a scene-stealer as the baby mama’s grandma. In fact, she should just start penning her Emmy speech. Watch The New Normal trailer <a href="http://www.nbc.com/the-new-normal/">here</a>.</li>
<li>The Following (Fox, beginning in late January) In what Fox’s Reilly called a “casting coup,” Fox lured<strong> Kevin Bacon</strong> onboard this creepy thriller to play a retired FBI profiler who comes out of retirement after his most famous case escapes from jail and goes on the hunt again. To keep the suspense flowing, Fox will air the show, penned b<em>y Scream</em> scribe Kevin Williamson, on 15 consecutive Mondays in early 2013. Watch the trailer below&#8230;</li>
</ul>
<span style="text-align:center; display: block;"><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/aarp-at-the-tv-upfronts-five-shows-we-cant-wait-to-watch/"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/f8H4ewQzKFM/2.jpg" alt="" /></a></span>
<p>Think you&#8217;d watch any of these shows? Have they all missed the mark? Tell us in comments &#8211; we want to make sure the network hears you!</p>
<p><em>Photo via Flickr user <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/heyitsgarrett/402886169/in/photostream/">heyitsgarrett.</a></em></p>
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		<title>50+ &amp; Having Sex Twice a Week &#8230; Not Bad</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/pepper-schwartz-50-plus-men-sex-drive/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/pepper-schwartz-50-plus-men-sex-drive/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 12:30:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Pepper Schwartz</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Home & Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ask pepper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men's health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pepper schwartz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24832</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/home-family/" title="View all posts in Home &#38; Family" rel="category tag">Home &#38; Family</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/relationships/" title="View all posts in Relationships" rel="category tag">Relationships</a></span>Q: On average, how often does a man my age, 54, in a steady relationship have sex? I usually have it once to twice a week but never more. When I was young there were never any problems but now I feel like I&#8217;m really slowing down. &#8212; RM Dr. Pepper Schwartz: The good and bad news is that you’re average at once a week for your age; when you’re over 60, <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/pepper-schwartz-50-plus-men-sex-drive/" class="more">having sex twice a week you’re doing better ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24832&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_22731" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 190px"><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/pepper.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-22731" title="pepper" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/pepper.jpg?w=640" alt="Dr. Pepper Schwartz"   /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Dr. Pepper Schwartz</p></div>
<p><strong>Q: On average, how often does a man my age, 54, in a steady relationship have sex? I usually have it once to twice a week but never more. When I was <a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-07-2011/men-sex-erectile-dysfunction.html?smp=SN-BLOG-PJS" target="_blank">young there were never any problems</a> but now I feel like I&#8217;m really slowing down. &#8212; </strong>RM</p>
<p><strong>Dr. Pepper Schwartz</strong>: The good and bad news is that you’re average at once a week for your age; when you’re over 60, having sex twice a week you’re doing better than average.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-11-2010/men_sex_problem_cannot_climax.html" target="_blank">Men tend to slow down as they get older</a>. Your drive lessens because of decreasing testosterone levels and because of other medical and physical conditions. Aging knees, weaker backs, less overall energy are all possible reasons for wanting to read a good book rather than have that third night of love making.</p>
<p>This is just a natural phenomenon. Some older men are extraordinary and have amazing sex drive and physical abilities, but most men over 50 and 60 resemble you. Perhaps the thing to is just to <a title="Brand New Sex With Same Old Spouse" href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-03-2011/new-sex-with-same-old-spouse.html?smp=SN-BLOG-PJS">enjoy the sexual times</a> you do have , try to make them quality experiences and then use cuddling, stroking, kissing and other sensual or affectionate behavior in-between <a title="How to Be a Superb Lover" href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-11-2011/superb-lover-pepper-schwartz.html?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS">love making sessions</a> to keep your relationship close and emotionally fulfilling.</p>
<p><strong><em>Dr. Schwartz <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/tag/ask-pepper/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS">answers questions</a> every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. <a title="Ask Pepper form" href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/experts/pepper_schwartz/ask_pepper_a_question/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS" target="_blank">Submit your question here</a></em></strong>. <strong><em>Read of Pepper’s <a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/experts/pepper_schwartz/?cmp=SN-BLOG-PJS" target="_blank">columns here</a>. And be sure to follow Pepper on Twitter </em></strong><a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/pepperschwartz">@pepperschwartz</a>.</p>
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		<title>A Laxative-Free, Virtual Colonoscopy? It Could Happen Soon</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-laxative-free-virtual-colonoscopy-it-may-soon-be-possible/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-laxative-free-virtual-colonoscopy-it-may-soon-be-possible/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 12:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Candy Sagon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancer screening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Candy Sagon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[colon cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[colonoscopy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laxative]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[polyps]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24795</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/personal-health/" title="View all posts in Personal Health" rel="category tag">Personal Health</a></span>Think of it: A virtual colonoscopy that doesn&#8217;t require a day spent taking laxatives and being sequestered in the bathroom, and doesn&#8217;t use that lovely little camera-probe inserted where the sun don&#8217;t shine. Sign me up, you might say. Yeah, well, not so fast. First, it&#8217;s still being studied. And second, it&#8217;s almost &#8212; but not quite &#8212; as accurate as the traditional colonoscopy that does require all that prep work. A <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/a-laxative-free-virtual-colonoscopy-it-may-soon-be-possible/" class="more">study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24795&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/virtual-colon3.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-24808" title="virtual colon3" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/virtual-colon3.jpg?w=640" alt=""   /></a>Think of it: A virtual <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/02/23/colonoscopy-cuts-death-rate-by-half-new-study-shows/" target="_blank">colonoscopy</a> that doesn&#8217;t require a day spent taking laxatives and being sequestered in the bathroom, and doesn&#8217;t use that lovely little camera-probe inserted where the sun don&#8217;t shine.</p>
<p>Sign me up, you might say.</p>
<p>Yeah, well, not so fast. First, it&#8217;s still being studied. And second, it&#8217;s almost &#8212; but not quite &#8212; as accurate as the traditional colonoscopy that does require all that prep work.</p>
<p>A study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine found that a new method using a CT scan to screen for <a href="http://healthtools.aarp.org/adamcontent/colon-cancer" target="_blank">colon cancer </a>could detect 91 percent of suspicious <a href="http://healthtools.aarp.org/learning-center/colon-polyps?lcStart=1" target="_blank">polyps</a> 10 millimeters or larger, compared with 95 percent identified when the same patients had a standard colonoscopy.</p>
<p>The study was partially funded by GE Healthcare, maker of the CT imaging device used in virtual colonoscopies.</p>
<p>Because colon cancer &#8212; found most often in people age 50 and older &#8212; is largely preventable if polyps are caught early, having a <a href="http://www.aarp.org/health/conditions-treatments/news-02-2012/us-med-colon-cancer-tests.html" target="_blank">colonoscopy is a life-saving treatment</a>.</p>
<p>However, researchers acknowledge that many people dread the day-before laxative preparation to clear out their bowels so the polyps can be seen.</p>
<p>The new technique, explains the<a href="http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2012/05/15/new_kind_of_virtual_colonoscopy_offers_hope_for_easier_screening/" target="_blank"> Boston Globe</a>, works by using a contrast dye, which patients ingest two days before the test, to highlight fecal matter in the colon, which then can be digitally erased from the scan using a software program, making it easier to see polyps.</p>
<p>In the study of 605 patients, who underwent both the virtual colonoscopy followed by the standard one, the standard one was also better than the virtual test at detecting smaller polyps. The virtual colonoscopy detected 70 percent of polyps under 8 millimeters, compared with 88 percent detected by the traditional exam.</p>
<p>The CT scan also delivers a dose of radiation, which is why the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, a government advisory group, recommended against the procedure in 2008, saying it wasn&#8217;t clear that the benefits outweighed the risk.</p>
<p>Still, researchers think a virtual colonoscopy might encourage those who have been avoiding getting screened to go ahead and do it.</p>
<p>Just one thing: If you have a virtual colonoscopy and it does detect a polyp, you still have to undergo a standard colonoscopy &#8212; laxatives and all &#8212; to have the polyp removed and biopsied.</p>
<p><strong>In other health news:</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_MED_ALZHEIMERS?SITE=AP&amp;SECTION=HOME&amp;TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&amp;CTIME=2012-05-15-17-17-44" target="_blank"><strong>New trial of Alzheimer&#8217;s drug hopes to stop disease before it starts.</strong></a> Alzheimer&#8217;s researchers announced a new international study to see whether an experimental drug could stall the disease in a family genetically predisposed to get a type of the devastating disease. A second study will test whether a nasal spray that sends insulin to the brain can help people with early memory problems, the Associated Press reports.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/pets-play-an-increasingly-important-role-at-senior-living-centers-across-the-united-states/2012/05/15/gIQA7ilmRU_story.html" target="_blank"><strong>Pets play important role in senior living centers across U.S.</strong></a> Hundreds of retirement communities across the country allow seniors to live with their pets, and an increasing number of centers keep house pets that provide pet companionship benefits to residents without the responsibility, reports the Washington Post.</p>
<p><a href="http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/05/15/11719378-fear-needles-look-away-and-pain-is-less?lite" target="_blank"><strong>Look away while you get a shot and it will hurt less.</strong></a> Msnbc.com has a story about a German study that proves what we always tell our kids: Don&#8217;t watch while you get a shot and it won&#8217;t hurt as much.</p>
<p>Photo credit: Radiological Society of North America</p>
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		<title>In the Rust Belt, a Ripple of Optimism</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/in-the-rust-belt-a-ripple-of-optimism/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/in-the-rust-belt-a-ripple-of-optimism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 10:06:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Election 2012</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012 election]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bruce springsteen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Joe Biden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mitt Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ohio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rust Belt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Youngstown]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24943</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/politics/" title="View all posts in Politics" rel="category tag">Politics</a></span>Susan Milligan is visiting six Election 2012 battleground states to talk with 50-plus voters for a report that will be published in the September issue of the AARP Bulletin. She posted this from Youngstown, Ohio. When I last visited Youngstown, Ohio, four years ago, the city whose steel mills “built the tanks and bombs that won this country’s wars,” as Bruce Springsteen put it, had the feel of an industrial ghost town. <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/16/in-the-rust-belt-a-ripple-of-optimism/" class="more">So economically damaged was Youngstown from the decline ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24943&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>Susan Milligan is visiting six Election 2012 battleground states to talk with 50-plus voters for a report that will be published in the September issue of the AARP Bulletin. She posted this from Youngstown, Ohio.</em></p>
<p>When I last visited Youngstown, Ohio, four years ago, the city whose steel mills “built the tanks and bombs that won this country’s wars,” <a href="http://www.ubalt.edu/downloads/sappington_jennifer.pdf">as Bruce Springsteen put it</a>, had the feel of an industrial ghost town. So economically damaged was Youngstown from the decline of the steel and manufacturing industries that it seemed it might just fade away. But there’s a ripple of new optimism in Youngstown, I found on a recent trip there to hear from older voters.</p>
<p>“There’s a resurgence going on — it’s coming back,” says Patricia Dougan, a 61-year-old lawyer, citing the <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111904233404576462562705511704.html">new steel mill</a> in town (a $650 million plant that will turn out seamless steel tubes for the natural-gas industry) and plans for a <a href="http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ssf/2012/03/beachwood_businessmen_plan_pus.html">new casino</a>. “This would be a good place to retire.” The city’s downturn has had its upside, Dougan notes, since housing prices are low.</p>
<p>Tibitha Matheney, a local real estate agent who holds the <a href="http://www.seniorsrealestate.com/">SRES</a> (Seniors Real Estate Specialist) designation from the National Association of Realtors, says that Youngstown is becoming a popular place for retirees to settle because you can buy “a decent home” for $60,000 to $90,000. One of her clients bought a home for $25,000. Another couple, she says, is planning to sell their pricey home in California, buy a cheaper home in Youngstown, and live off what’s left over.</p>
<p>From an economic standpoint, however, everything isn’t hunky-dory. The <a href="http://jfs.ohio.gov/releases/unemp/201204/unemppressrelease.asp">statewide unemployment rate</a> is 7.5 percent, which is a little bit below the national rate of 8.1 percent, but in the Youngstown area it’s 8.6 percent.</p>
<p>Ohio is on everyone’s list of key swing states. Mitt Romney has visited Ohio several times in just the past few weeks, perhaps because no Republican has made it to the White House in recent history without winning the state. And Vice President Joe Biden will be in Ohio — right here in Youngstown — today.</p>
<p>With <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electoral_College_%28United_States%29">18 electoral votes</a> at stake, the smart money says that the top-of-the-ticket candidates will be visiting Ohio a lot between now and November, as will their surrogates and spin doctors. Youngstown, come to think of it, would be a pretty good place to stay and watch the action.   <strong>—Susan Milligan</strong></p>
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		<title>National Alzheimer&#8217;s Plan Unveiled</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/sally-abrahms-national-alzheimers-act/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/sally-abrahms-national-alzheimers-act/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2012 20:55:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sally Abrahms</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Home & Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Personal Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alzheimer's disease]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Alzheimers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sally abrahms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TakeCare]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24886</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/home-family/" title="View all posts in Home &#38; Family" rel="category tag">Home &#38; Family</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/personal-health/" title="View all posts in Personal Health" rel="category tag">Personal Health</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/technology/" title="View all posts in Technology" rel="category tag">Technology</a></span>As part of the government’s national plan, unrolled today, to fight Alzheimer’s, is a new Department of Health and Human Services caregiver website,  www.alzheimers.gov. Along with information (legal, financial, medical), resources, strategies for dealing with daily challenges, and tools and links, the government website has a caregiver section with tips for caring for yourself as well as video conversations with caregivers. This site stems from the National Alzheimer’s Project Act (NAPA), which President <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/sally-abrahms-national-alzheimers-act/" class="more">Obama signed in January 2011. Many specifics of ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24886&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>As part of the government’s national plan, unrolled today, to fight <a href="http://healthtools.aarp.org/adamcontent/alzheimers-disease">Alzheimer’s</a>, is a new Department of Health and Human Services caregiver website,  <a href="http://www.alzheimers.gov/?cmp=VIA-AARP-BLOG-5-15-12" target="_blank">www.alzheimers.gov.</a></p>
<p><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/abrahms-alz-dot-gov.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-24910" title="ABRAHMS alz dot gov" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/abrahms-alz-dot-gov.jpg?w=300&h=130" alt="" width="300" height="130" /></a>Along with information (legal, financial, medical), resources, strategies for dealing with daily challenges, and tools and links, the government website has a <a href="http://www.alzheimers.gov/caring.html?cmp=VIA-AARP-BLOG-5-15-12" target="_blank">caregiver section</a> with tips for caring for yourself as well as video conversations with caregivers.</p>
<p>This site stems from the <a href="http://aspe.hhs.gov/daltcp/napa/">National Alzheimer’s Project Act</a> (NAPA), which President Obama signed in January 2011. Many specifics of the plan, crafted with input from aging and Alzheimer’s experts, were unveiled today.</p>
<p>The collaborative approach to prevent and treat <a href="http://healthtools.aarp.org/adamcontent/alzheimers-disease">Alzheimer’s</a> involves federal, state, private and non-profit groups. The national plan is geared to support research, and inform and educate clinicians, <a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/">caregivers</a>, and the public.</p>
<p>To further rev up results, the president&#8217;s proposed FY 2013 budget provides a $100 million increase for Alzheimer&#8217;s, including $10.5 million in <a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving/info-10-2010/when_a_caregiver_can_no_longer_cope.html">caregiver support</a>.</p>
<p>Currently, 5.1 million Americans have Alzheimer’s or other dementias, and the rate is rapidly rising as the country&#8217;s 78 million baby boomers age.</p>
<p>Besides the website, more highlights of the NAPA plan include:</p>
<ul>
<li>The funding of two clinical trials by the <a href="http://www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers">National Institutes of Health</a> that will use new technologies and approaches in clinical testing. The aim: to come up with novel ways to prevent and treat Alzheimer’s.</li>
<li>Monies through geriatric education centers to train healthcare providers to better recognize and manage Alzheimer’s.</li>
<li>A TV media campaign launching this summer to reach family members and anyone else who needs information on Alzheimer’s and dementia.</li>
</ul>
<p>The caregiving component of the NAPA plan is further recognition that caregivers are also deeply impacted by the Alzheimer’s diagnosis and need support, too.</p>
<p>Have you cared for someone with Alzheimer&#8217;s or dementia? Tell us your story in the comments section below.</p>
<p><strong>Follow Sally  at <a href="http://www.sallyabrahms.com/" target="_blank">www.sallyabrahms.com</a> or on Twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/sallyabrahms" target="_blank">@sallyabrahms</a>.</strong></p>
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		<title>Mother-Child Cycle of Sacrifice, Love and Reciprocity</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/mother-child-cycle-of-sacrifice-love-and-reciprocity/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/mother-child-cycle-of-sacrifice-love-and-reciprocity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2012 20:27:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Amy Goyer</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Home & Family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Your Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[amy goyer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[caregiving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[family]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generational exchange]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intergenerational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mothers day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacrifice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TakeCare]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/home-family/" title="View all posts in Home &#38; Family" rel="category tag">Home &#38; Family</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/relationships/" title="View all posts in Relationships" rel="category tag">Relationships</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/your-life/" title="View all posts in Your Life" rel="category tag">Your Life</a></span>She was young, beautiful, capable and highly intelligent. A college degree and a couple years of teaching under her belt, she married her college-sweetheart, a WWII veteran working on his master’s degree. Within a few years my Mom had given birth to their first child while living in Germany, far from the comforts of home and family. She embraced the challenge then as she did in the future, giving birth to three <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/mother-child-cycle-of-sacrifice-love-and-reciprocity/" class="more">more babies while my Dad earned his doctorate ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24336&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/april-1997-patricia-and-amy-goyer2.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-24349" title="April 1997 Patricia and Amy Goyer" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/april-1997-patricia-and-amy-goyer2.jpg?w=244&h=300" alt="" width="244" height="300" /></a></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">She was young, beautiful, capable and highly intelligent. A college degree and a couple years of teaching under her belt, she married her college-sweetheart, a WWII veteran working on his master’s degree. Within a few years my Mom had given birth to their first child while living in Germany, far from the comforts of </span><a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">home and family</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">. She embraced the challenge then as she did in the future, giving birth to three more babies while my Dad earned his doctorate and developed his academic career. Four children (I’m the youngest) and not a lot of money in those days, my Mom stretched a dollar like it was an enjoyable pursuit. She creatively </span><a href="http://www.aarp.org/food/"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">produced meals</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">(my sister relates a story of a bologna roast!), sewed our clothes and decorated on a shoestring while teaching us these skills.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">Were we aware of how much Mom was sacrificing for us? Of course not.</span></span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">When my sisters and I were growing up, we had all the opportunities we craved – music, dance, acting and horseback riding lessons as well as girl scouts, other clubs and plenty of books to read. Our interests, talents and education were encouraged and nurtured. Mom and Dad attended every performance and school program. We always had health care and food on the table. When we were sick, they always cared for us. There was laughter and love and a very high quality of life in our home.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">I’m sure there were many interests Mom would have developed had she not been raising four children. But she sacrificed those, instead following paths that could better include and/or benefit us, such as developing children’s theater programs, volunteering at church and creating a community park.</span></p>
<div id="attachment_24342" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 310px"><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/goyer-family-2-23-19632.jpg"><img class="size-medium wp-image-24342" title="Goyer Family 2-23-1963" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/goyer-family-2-23-19632.jpg?w=300&h=256" alt="" width="300" height="256" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Our family in 1963 (I&#8217;m the youngest)</p></div>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">Mom would have loved a career that took more of a center-stage in her life. Instead she waited until I was in third grade; eventually she earned her master’s degree. She has a fine eye for beauty and detail and would have enjoyed nice things they couldn’t afford; she delighted in what she had. With four daughters to outift, she rarely bought clothes for herself. </span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">M</span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">y Mom sacrificed in ways that her children will never really know or understand. And she did so out of love. She supported us and relished our accomplishments while forgoing hers. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"><span style="color:#0000ff;">And now it is my turn to support my Dad and Mom. </span>There is a compact between the generations that feels right to me &#8211; a cycle of voluntary giving and receiving:</span></p>
<ul>
<li><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">One generation raises the next.</span></li>
<li><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">The children become more independent and gradually their parents&#8217; and grandparents&#8217;needs increase.</span></li>
<li><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">The younger generation reciprocates -  providing support for their elders.</span></li>
</ul>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">It’s an intergenerational exchange of mutual care and support motivated by love, </span><a href="http://www.aarp.org/personal-growth/life-stories/info-08-2009/what_i_really_know_about_legacy_family_value.html"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">gratitude</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">, a sense of responsibility or duty and sometimes altruism (the opposite of egoism.) It has been the basis of humanity for thousands of years. But it doesn&#8217;t come to fruition in all families.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">It saddens me when I see so many of my parents’ peers whose families don’t live up to this generational commitment of reciprocity. I do not have children, and I often </span><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/03/sally-abrahms-childless-women-future-care/"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">wonder if anyone will support me</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"> as I do my parents, but that doesn’t stop me from being here for them. </span><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">Mom never abandoned me, and I will never abandon her. </span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">Sure we had our conflicts as I was growing up! It’s a natural part of the parent-child relationship. But with growth comes perspective, and long ago I realized the bottom line: my parents have always been there for me and my sisters. They provided a loving home for us as we grew up, and continued to do so for some of us and many of their grandchildren at various times in our adulthood.</span></p>
<p><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">Many people ask me why </span><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/03/27/difficult-caregiving-decisions/"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">I chose to move across the country</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"> to provide </span><a href="http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">caregiving for my parents</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;"> as they became more vulnerable and their needs increased. Why I am willing to make such sacrifices in my own career, relationships and interests in order to </span><a href="http://www.aarp.org/relationships/family/info-09-2009/goyer_the_big_move.html"><span style="color:#0000ff;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">support them</span></a><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Arial;font-size:medium;">? The answer is easy for me – they sacrificed for me when I was vulnerable and now it is my turn to sacrifice for them. It’s the right thing to do. It’s just that simple. </span></p>
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		<title>One Down, The Rest Of My (Long) Life To Go</title>
		<link>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/one-down-the-rest-of-my-long-life-to-go/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/one-down-the-rest-of-my-long-life-to-go/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 May 2012 18:17:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Alejandra Owens</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Personal Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Your Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[breast cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chemicals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pam Evans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.aarp.org/?p=24868</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[<p> <span class="left_cat_home" ><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/personal-health/" title="View all posts in Personal Health" rel="category tag">Personal Health</a> &#124; <a href="http://blog.aarp.org/category/your-life/" title="View all posts in Your Life" rel="category tag">Your Life</a></span>Guest Post: As AARP’s Sustainability Manager, Pam Evans has led the effort to incorporate environmentally responsible practices into AARP’s internal business operations. She’s passionate about educating members on the importance of responsible use of resources, and the direct connection between the declining health of the environment and the health of our, and future, generations. One year ago this month, I heard the words that turned my world upside down. “You have breast <strong><a href="http://blog.aarp.org/2012/05/15/one-down-the-rest-of-my-long-life-to-go/" class="more">cancer.” I’m not alone. At 56, the chances ... </a></strong></p><img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.aarp.org&#038;blog=18564969&#038;post=24868&#038;subd=aarpblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em><a href="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/pink-duck.jpeg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-24873" title="pink duck" src="http://aarpblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/pink-duck.jpeg?w=640" alt=""   /></a>Guest Post: As AARP’s Sustainability Manager, Pam Evans has led the effort to incorporate environmentally responsible practices into AARP’s internal business operations. She’s passionate about educating members on the importance of responsible use of resources, and the direct connection between the declining health of the environment and the health of our, and future, generations.</em></p>
<p>One year ago this month, I heard the words that turned my world upside down. “You have breast cancer.”</p>
<p>I’m not alone. At 56, the chances were already building that I would be one of the<a href="http://www.cancer.org/acs/groups/content/@epidemiologysurveilance/documents/document/acspc-030975.pdf" target="_blank"><strong> 225,000+ new cases</strong></a> diagnosed each year in the U.S. At age 50, <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK22312/" target="_blank"><strong>the chance of a woman developing the disease</strong></a> before she turns 60 is 1 in 36.</p>
<p>Admittedly, I am one of the lucky ones; my <a href="http://www.cancer.org/acs/groups/content/@epidemiologysurveilance/documents/document/acspc-030975.pdf" target="_blank">Stage One tumor was found in a routine mammogram</a> and after a mastectomy and chemotherapy, I’ve resumed a ‘normal’ life, including enjoying a week without a visit to a doctor or the infusion center!</p>
<p>Breast cancer is the most common cancer among women in the United States, other than skin cancer. It is the second leading cause of cancer death in women, after lung cancer, claiming over 39,000 lives each year. Thankfully, that number is on the decline, probably due to increased awareness, better detection and treatment options. Today, there are over 2 ½ million breast cancer survivors in the U.S. alone.</p>
<p>My biggest challenges now are doing the things that will give me the <a href="http://www.breastcancerfund.org/reduce-your-risk/tips/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration:underline;">greatest chance of avoiding</span></strong></a> a recurrence: losing some weight, eating a healthier diet and cutting back on the Pinot Grigio!  That and figuring out what to do with the wavy silver hair that’s taken over my previously bald scalp. (And all those years thinking I was a blonde &#8211; thank you L’Oreal Excellence Dark Ash Blonde! )</p>
<p>Those are actually the easiest avoidance practices to adopt. Unfortunately, the harder, if not impossible, ones to control are the environmental factors. (This <em>is</em> a blog about the environment and healthy aging after all!)</p>
<p>Everything <a href="http://www.breastcancerfund.org/reduce-your-risk/tips/" target="_blank"><strong>we put on, in and around our bodies can affect what happens inside them</strong>.</a> From the soap &amp; shampoo we use in the shower, the creams, cosmetics and nail polishes we put on our face and body, the plastics we pack our lunch in, the fertilizer we put on our lawn and garden and even the paint and materials we select for our home can, <span style="text-decoration:underline;">and do</span> impact our health.</p>
<p>Now, more than ever, it’s important to advocate for transparency in the market, and for the adoption of science-based rules and regulations around the chemicals in our food, cosmetics and consumer products. You don’t need to be an environmental activist to appreciate the need for a healthy environment, and I encourage you to be an advocate whenever, and where you can. Become familiar with the myriad of databases available online to inform your best choices for a variety of personal, family and household items.  Examples include: <a href="http://www.ewg.org/" target="_blank">Environmental Working Group</a>’s selection of consumer guides, <a href="http://www.breastcancerfund.org/big-picture-solutions/campaign-for-safe-cosmetics.html" target="_blank">The Breast Cancer Fund Campaign for Safe Cosmetics</a>, and HGTV’s “<a href="http://www.hgtv.com/home-improvement/how-to-avoid-volatile-organic-compounds/index.html" target="_blank">How to Avoid Volatile Organic Compounds</a>.&#8221;</p>
<p>Select environmentally safe and friendly products and services whenever possible. Drive less, walk (or bike) more and recycle!</p>
<p>If you are, or you love, a survivor, CONGRATULATIONS! It’s a sisterhood we’d rather not belong to, but we’re in it now so let’s do the best we can to live our longest, healthiest lives and protect the same for our daughters, granddaughters and beyond.</p>
<p><em><strong>Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/x/t/0091009/photos/jdsmith1021/5912311459/" target="_blank">jdsmith1021</a> via flickr. </strong></em></p>
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