The Words I Wrote the Day After JFK’s Assassination

by Lloyd Stableford Note: I was a senior at the College of William and Mary, pursuing a political science major. The words that follow are the actual words I wrote on my Royal typewriter in my dorm room during the fateful hours. It is now thirty hours since the fatal shooting of the President of the United States, John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Here, at the College of William and Mary, all is relatively quiet. The sky is still overcast, after a …

Joy and Sorrow: A Precious Photo of My Mom and Me

It’s strange, the things that go through our minds when we are suffering a life-altering, heartbreaking loss. When my Mom passed just three weeks ago, one of the first things I thought of was the coming issue of the AARP Bulletin with our photo on the cover and an excerpt of my book, AARP’s Juggling Work and Caregiving. I knew it was to be a visual depiction of the love I feel for my mom and the care I was …

Losing Mom: The Void That Can’t Be Filled

It is with an impossibly heavy heart that I write this post. Patricia Ann Stutz Goyer, passed on Oct. 11 after a brief and sudden illness. To many she was friend, mentor, teacher, director, aunt, sister, wife … to me she was Mom, and she has been the inspiration for so much of my work and writing over the past four years. Mom was a remarkable woman. She grew up in Indiana, salutatorian of her high school graduating class. She …

One More Thing to Stress About: Midlife Stress and Your Brain

After the alarm goes off at 5:45 a.m., each day brings a new set of challenges: deadlines and responsibility at work, AP history homework, French quizzes, soccer carpools, meetings at school, dogs that need to be walked and a hardworking husband who is rarely home before 8 p.m. My mother died in February after a difficult illness, and still I sometimes wake in the middle of the night in grief and panic. Add to that list a new study to …

Home Is Where the People Are

“Are you sure? I asked my uncle. I looked around the basement and waited for the catch. “Sure, I’m sure. Take it, he said, dusting off the black leather. “You’ve got room in the truck and space in the new place. It’s yours. Suddenly, Pop Pop’s living room chair belonged to me. It was last month, and my boyfriend and I were en route to Ohio, where we now live and where I go to school. We had said our …

A Time to Remember

I had not seen Rose Toren for almost 15 years, until last weekend, when I decided that if anyone deserved tribute on this special holiday of memory and celebration, it was she. Memorials apply to many sorrows. She had just reached the age of 90 and, beset by failing health, seemed frail and detached, paying the price of time and grief in a prevailing mood of sadness that had deepened over the years. But, despite that, one could also clearly …