Role Reversal in a Marriage

Q: In some marriages, the male and female roles are reversed. Is this normal, or is this a problem? I would like to read something on this; do you know of a website? A: The best thing about being a man or a woman in an intimate relationship these days is that there are no rules. Rather, people can decide on whatever division of labor helps them reach their mutual goals the fastest. So if the husband of an ambitious, …

Who Wears the Panties in This House?

Q: I am a 50-year-old male. I shave my legs for various reasons, and my wife is OK with it. (She’s even told me how sexy it is in bed.) I also wear thong-style and men’s nylon underwear. Now I’d like to start wearing satin women’s underwear. How should I bring this up to my wife? It seems she’s already somewhat supportive. A: Quite a few men derive pleasure from wearing women’s clothes, especially bras and panties. Before you broach …

In My Dreams, My Wife Is the Only One Sleeping — Around!

Q: About 18 months ago I was put on AndroGel for low testosterone. It has worked well — my energy level is up, and so is my libido — but there’s a problem: I keep dreaming my wife is having sex with other men. The sex is quite graphic. It causes me to wake up about 2 a.m. with a very good erection, and leaves me unable to get back to sleep. The dreams stay on my mind throughout the …

Who Are More Unfaithful — Men or Women?

Q: In a recent column you said that in most long-term marriages that fail, men are generally the ones who cheat on their wives. I’d like to know where you got that information. The statistics I’ve read in the past few years show a higher incidence of infidelity from women than men. A: Fair enough — my information came from these two sources: 1. A study of 25,000 respondents that I did in collaboration with Jim Witte (a Harvard-trained demographer …

Hey, Miley: It Gets Better (Sex, That Is)

First the twerking. Now Miley Cyrus has proclaimed that sex ends at 40. Well, it doesn’t, experts say. AARP sex and relationship expert Pepper Schwartz points out that there are a lot of myths about sex and aging, including the notion that older people don’t – or shouldn’t – have sex. “For some reason, many people think sex belongs to the young,” she says. “If that were the case, our whole species would lose all sexual feelings as they age …

Depression Meds in the Way of Sex

Q: My husband and I both enjoy sex, but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have been on all kinds of medication for 10-plus years. I cannot do without them. I also cannot achieve orgasm. I’ve been to so many doctors, and they all say the same thing: It’s my meds. My question is: Do I have to pick between being happy on my meds, or having an orgasm? Lately it’s getting hard to pick. I really need …