LegacyThis is a guest post by California-based writer Betsy Towner is a regular contributor to AARP Bulletin. Paul’s grandma wasn’t like ours. Whereas the other grandmothers of my first four years left impressions of intensified mothering—cozier, calmer, softer than Mommy—my neighbor Paul’s was an assault on the senses. A grand assault, mind you: Phyllis Diller would burst on the scene in a storm cloud of sparkle and shine, loudness and laughter. I watched her with equal parts fascination and intimidation …