Inevitable Loss: The Passage of Time

Who do you think is lonelier – adults in their mid to late 40s or adults age 70 and older? One might surmise that the older folks have experienced more loss of loved ones, diminished physical or mental abilities and/or are less active, which could lead to increased loneliness. Counter to what many people think, folks ages 45-49 are lonelier than those 70 years and older according to our research (43% vs. 25%, respectively). In fact, older people are happier …

Communication Gap: To Text or to Call

You may not be surprised to hear this, but while 18- to 29-year-olds are split about 50-50 on texting their parents (versus calling), three-quarters of their parents would rather talk on the phone than send texts back and forth. You may be surprised, though, to hear this: Parents and adult children are finding comfortable ways to communicate across the generations, leading to strong and satisfying relationships. Those are some of the newest findings reported by psychology professor Jeffrey Arnett, the …

Not a Typical Movie Night

Q: Could you recommend good sex videos for older couples? My husband and I have been together 35 years, and we see ads in the newspaper for such videos. We’d like to view them, but their websites seem flaky and not very knowledgeable about issues of older couples. We’d like to watch videos to possibly learn some different techniques.  Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Good for you! You can get wonderful ideas and tips from videos (and they can be a turn-on, …

Online Dating: Showing My (Real) Age

Q: I am a 78-year-old widow, intelligent, friendly, self-sufficient, well-groomed and well-read. My problem is how to word my online profile so that men who are slightly younger will not write me off. I am in excellent health and interested in everything around me. I can still do everything I did when I was 50. I would be a good fit for the right man 10 years my junior, but men don’t seem to consider this possibility, and there don’t …

Finding the Healthy Sexual Aid for Him

Q: My wife doesn’t want me to take prescription sexual aids, such as Viagra, because she fears I’ll have a heart attack or stroke. It worked well for me, the first and only time I got to use it. In her defense, I did suffer a heart attack at 38. My question is, are there alternative over-the-counter drugs or natural herbs that can help? Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Have you talked to a doctor about this? I would at least get …

Getting Intimate With Herpes

Q: I’ve had herpes for the past 20 years. Now, whenever I tell a woman about it (before we become intimate, of course) I’m met with rejection. Are there any safe sites to find partners with herpes? By the way, I don’t like using condoms. Dr. Pepper Schwartz: Yes, if you go online you will find sites that help people with herpes find each other. Just Google “herpes and sexual partners” or “herpes communities.” However, many people who have herpes …