Men Don’t Only Want Sex. They Want Friendship, Too

Q: I have been divorced for almost three years and am having difficulty meeting men. Most of the guys I encounter just want sex. I want more: respect, friendship, kindness, mutual enjoyment. Any suggestions? After 29 1/2 years of an abusive marriage, I would like to think there are some nice men out there. Dr. Pepper Schwartz: There are definitely some nice men out there. Of course, your life has been colored by an abusive marriage and you have to …

Two Words: Sex Therapist

Q: The woman I married two years ago doesn’t really know how to make love to me. I am 68, and my wife is 57. I still have the drive to have sex, but she is not used to initiating the first move. She doesn’t like to kiss and isn’t romantic at all. When I listen to soft music to try and get things started, she asks me why I play sad music. I have been patient with her as …

Online Dating Isn’t Working. Now What?

Q: I have been a widow for about three years.  (I live with my son, a highly functional autistic man who is independent in most areas but needs my help financially.) I’d love to find a new romantic relationship again, but fear I am destined to be alone. I’ve tried dating sites and have met many men, but we only go out on a date or two and that’s it. Either I don’t feel any connection, which is not very often, or they …

“She Wants to Know Details of My Infidelity”

Q: Last year, I confessed to my wife of 35 years that I’d had affairs with several women approximately 20 years ago. She’s in the process of forgiving me. We have agreed to move forward and have both seen counselors, separately. However, I feel she’s not really moving forward, due to the questions she has about my affairs. She wants me to share my story of infidelity with her: How was I able to do it? How could I do …

Family Ties

Q: How (and when) do I tell a dating partner about my difficult family situation? I haven’t dated in a long time (I’m 59, never married). This is partly due to being a caregiver – first for my dad, who had a stroke, and now my mom, who is recovering from a stroke, and my brother, who has schizophrenia and is in poor physical health. They do live independently, and with some help from community agencies, I don’t have to …

An Unexpected Test

Q: My age is 60. I am very active and energetic and would love to meet the perfect match for me, a partner for life. Dilemma: A few men my age or younger can no longer hold an erection. Thus, the protection of a condom no longer works because it comes off. However, men at this age are taken aback when I suggest that we have blood tests before having intercourse. I have received a lot of shocked looks, comments …