I’m Just Not Interested

Q: I just read your article about having a celibate marriage, and my marriage has turned into that. Although it’s not due to any type of punishment – it’s just that I have lost all interest in sex. I love my spouse; he loves me. There are no problems, no stresses. We get along great, but I just can’t find the interest. My doctor said it was probably stress but I am retired and don’t have any. I’ve talked to …

Two Words: Sex Therapist

Q: The woman I married two years ago doesn’t really know how to make love to me. I am 68, and my wife is 57. I still have the drive to have sex, but she is not used to initiating the first move. She doesn’t like to kiss and isn’t romantic at all. When I listen to soft music to try and get things started, she asks me why I play sad music. I have been patient with her as …

Sex and Dementia: What Are Our Rights When We’re Not Ourselves Any More?

A recent Bloomberg article recapped an incident in a nursing home in which an employee walked in on two elderly residents, both diagnosed with dementia, having intercourse. The man was in his late 70s, the woman in her late 80s. The employee, a nurse, called for help and separated the two, but not without the woman clawing and screaming at them. It’s a delicate subject and the zone is completely gray. The incident led to the male patient being removed …

Ginny Johnson Not Given Enough Credit for Sex Study Contributions

Ginny Johnson’s death brings back a lot of memories. I remember, as a new Ph.D. and young professor, sitting around many living rooms with her and her even more famous husband, Bill Masters, talking about sex research, about women in the field, and about differences in opinions between the behavioral scientists (my group) and  the medical people (Bill’s and, to some extent, Ginny’s group). Ginny was Bill Masters’ partner in sex research. Starting out as a secretary in his office, she transitioned to the …

Virginia Johnson: She Helped Bring Sex Out of the Bedroom

In 1957, Virginia Johnson, a divorced mother of two, saw an ad for a position as a research assistant at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis. The job turned out to be working for Dr. William H. Masters, a gynecologist who’d begun to study a topic that was largely taboo: sex. Johnson took the job, and it was the start of a partnership that would change America. Johnson, who died on July 24 at age 88 in St. Louis, …

An Unexpected Test

Q: My age is 60. I am very active and energetic and would love to meet the perfect match for me, a partner for life. Dilemma: A few men my age or younger can no longer hold an erection. Thus, the protection of a condom no longer works because it comes off. However, men at this age are taken aback when I suggest that we have blood tests before having intercourse. I have received a lot of shocked looks, comments …