AARP Cheat Sheet: Friday, January 14

( Via.)

After the signing of the bill to relieve 9/11 firefighters' medical expenses gets passed, firefighter Roy W. Chelsen is the first to pass away: "It was ironic, Firefighter Murray said, when Mr. Chelsen died in his living room on Sunday evening, at 5:45, and 'the date was 1/9/11 -- which is just like Roy to do something like that.' Firefighters, family and friends were there when he drew his last breath, Firefighter Murray said, bantering and 'busting each other's chops,' the way their pal would have wanted it.' "

Everything you knew about your horoscope is wrong.

It looks like this 93-year-old gangster isn't getting to leave prison anytime soon, despite his age: "John "Sonny" Franzese's lawyer has sought to portray the nonagenarian as a harmless relic from 'the age of Eisenhower and Lyndon Johnson and maybe the age of George Washington.'" (Some brutally gory details in this story... don't read it with your lunch.)

Courtesy police on Amtrak's Quiet Cars: "The "QuietRide vigilantes" (as a Philadelphia transit manager calls them) tend to be outraged absolutists wielding such blunt cudgels as the 90-decibel, jet-engine shush and the Silent Stare of Death. What is meant to be a calm and soothing atmosphere becomes fraught with enough quiet tension for half a dozen Ibsen plays."

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