Q: I just turned 60, have been divorced for seven years and have not dated anyone. I am really lonely. I work full time and have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease ( COPD ), which sometimes requires me to use oxygen. I am scared and embarrassed about possibly having to use oxygen on a date. Since being diagnosed, I have lost all my self-confidence. How might I start the dating process? If think if I put my COPD out there, I won't be successful meeting anyone.
Q: I'd like to slowly establish a romantic relationship. I have been in treatment for anxiety, depression and bipolar disorder for 21 years. I have joined interest groups and tried online dating sites, but haven't found too many people who are reasonably intelligent (I'm in the top 5 percent), don't want to travel, enjoy deep conversation, and can accept a partner who will never lose the "baggage," which can be expected with chronic mental illness. I am introverted and like being alone most of the time. I've been married twice, both times to men with alcohol issues. What to do?
Q: Could you recommend good sex videos for older couples? My husband and I have been together 35 years, and we see ads in the newspaper for such videos. We'd like to view them, but their websites seem flaky and not very knowledgeable about issues of older couples. We'd like to watch videos to possibly learn some different techniques.
Q: I am a 78-year-old widow, intelligent, friendly, self-sufficient, well-groomed and well-read. My problem is how to word my online profile so that men who are slightly younger will not write me off. I am in excellent health and interested in everything around me. I can still do everything I did when I was 50. I would be a good fit for the right man 10 years my junior, but men don't seem to consider this possibility, and there don't seem to be any suitable men who are my age. Should I lie about my age? I'd have no problem getting away with it, but what if something developed and I had to own up?
Q: I am a 65-year-old man who had a transurethral resection of the prostate (TURP) done to reduce an enlarged prostate 10 years ago. Ever since then, even though I achieve an erection, it is not as strong, nor can I maintain it for long. I have been using Viagra, which was covered to a degree under my company insurance, but now that I am on Medicare it will no longer be covered. I have heard a lot about various pumps and the fact that they are sometimes covered by Medicare. Worth it, or will I be wasting my time?
Q: My wife seems to want intercourse only but I have a problem with premature ejaculation (PE). In my previous marriage, I satisfied my ex-wife with oral sex and then we'd have short intercourse. My current wife won't let me perform oral sex, but I believe it's because she prefers intercourse. Part of my problem is that her ex was long-lasting and I can't get it out of my head. She won't go to counseling. We did, and it was working, but she stopped. I have the medications for ED (erectile dysfunction) injections, but I don't see how that will stop my PE. I am so depressed about this. I want sex all the time but until I can last longer, she just lies there, so I stop trying. Help!
Q: My wife doesn't want me to take prescription sexual aids, such as Viagra, because she fears I'll have a heart attack or stroke. It worked well for me, the first and only time I got to use it. In her defense, I did suffer a heart attack at 38. My question is, are there alternative over-the-counter drugs or natural herbs that can help?
Q: I've had herpes for the past 20 years. Now, whenever I tell a woman about it (before we become intimate, of course) I'm met with rejection. Are there any safe sites to find partners with herpes? By the way, I don't like using condoms.
Q: I am 69 years of age and married. Three and a half years ago I had radiation treatment for prostate cancer . The cancer is in remission. However, my libido has come to a screeching halt. I have no interest in sex, although I have forced myself to try masturbation to try for an erection. Occasionally this will work, but most times it is a failure. Because of my lack of libido, my wife and I are slipping away from each other in terms of the relationship. You should also know that prior to the cancer, my libido and interest in sex was high. My testosterone test showed a normal count.
Q: My urologist told me that my sperm are malfunctioning because they are shaped differently than normal sperm and are not moving as quickly as they should, and that I have a low quantity. He said this could result from a low hormone count. What can I do to increase my sperm count? I know that I should eat properly, but I don't know which foods supply the vitamins that will increase my levels of testosterone, sperm, semen and testosterone?
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