Q: I am 69 years of age and married. Three and a half years ago I had radiation treatment for prostate cancer . The cancer is in remission. However, my libido has come to a screeching halt. I have no interest in sex, although I have forced myself to try masturbation to try for an erection. Occasionally this will work, but most times it is a failure. Because of my lack of libido, my wife and I are slipping away from each other in terms of the relationship. You should also know that prior to the cancer, my libido and interest in sex was high. My testosterone test showed a normal count.
Q: My urologist told me that my sperm are malfunctioning because they are shaped differently than normal sperm and are not moving as quickly as they should, and that I have a low quantity. He said this could result from a low hormone count. What can I do to increase my sperm count? I know that I should eat properly, but I don't know which foods supply the vitamins that will increase my levels of testosterone, sperm, semen and testosterone?
Q: The woman I married two years ago doesn't really know how to make love to me. I am 68, and my wife is 57. I still have the drive to have sex, but she is not used to initiating the first move. She doesn't like to kiss and isn't romantic at all. When I listen to soft music to try and get things started, she asks me why I play sad music. I have been patient with her as she tells me to try and work with her. But this is a very slow process. I need to know what I can do to help our sex life.
Q: I have been a widow for about three years. (I live with my son, a highly functional autistic man who is independent in most areas but needs my help financially.) I'd love to find a new romantic relationship again, but fear I am destined to be alone. I've tried dating sites and have met many men, but we only go out on a date or two and that's it. Either I don't feel any connection, which is not very often, or they don't, which happens more often. I'm attractive, and in good shape because I run marathons and do triathlons. Any suggestions on what I can do?
Q: How (and when) do I tell a dating partner about my difficult family situation? I haven't dated in a long time (I'm 59, never married). This is partly due to being a caregiver - first for my dad, who had a stroke, and now my mom, who is recovering from a stroke , and my brother, who has schizophrenia and is in poor physical health. They do live independently, and with some help from community agencies, I don't have to do all the caregiving. Still, my mom does need my help frequently and my brother has crises from time to time. There are no other siblings and no other family nearby. I am seeing a therapist about setting boundaries, but the boundaries don't always work. I'm very lonely and would like to have some male companionship - even marriage, if things went in that direction. I feel that I've been shortchanged in this area of my life. I know everyone has baggage, but I'm afraid this situation might scare a guy off. What would you suggest?
Q: My age is 60. I am very active and energetic and would love to meet the perfect match for me, a partner for life. Dilemma: A few men my age or younger can no longer hold an erection. Thus, the protection of a condom no longer works because it comes off. However, men at this age are taken aback when I suggest that we have blood tests before having intercourse. I have received a lot of shocked looks, comments that I don't trust them, and a lack of willingness to go for a test before they know if I'm the one. What's a gal to do?
Q: My w ife lost a breast to cancer. Chemotherapy took six months, during which she basically lay on the couch and had no energy. It's now 16 months after chemo and she's still on the couch. I can't get her to get up and do much of anything, including sex. We have no money to do any traveling since Social Security is all we get. Any ideas?
Q: After my wife died three years ago, I reconnected with a woman I'd known in high school. I gave her a ring on Valentine's Day 2009. Three months later, she died of a massive stroke. That came on the heels of my my father's death three months earlier. Since then, I have been having extreme bouts of loneliness. I'm now dating three women, one of whom I especially like. But I'm not sure the feeling is reciprocated. What should I do? I know I shouldn't have three gals at once, and this is making me more depressed.
Q: I've been a widow for almost three years and have gone on some dating sites. I just turned 70, and most of the men in my age category are looking for 50 to 60 year-olds. I don't look 70, but I don't look 50 either. I have a difficult time putting things into an email. How and where do I start to email a man I think I may want to meet in person?
Q: Due to my wife's health problems, we haven't had sex in 18 years. Sometimes I think I have forgotten what it would be like to have someone just to hold, sit and talk with. I love my wife very much and would never cheat on her. But it's not only the sex, I miss just being with someone! She doesn't let me even hug or kiss her, not even on our 50th wedding anniversary!
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