One goes through so many emotions as a caregiver- fear, sadness, anger, joy, surprise, just to name a few- but the one emotion I probably felt most often was simply, overwhelmed. That single feeling of being out of control and always on my guard amplified whatever other emotion I might have been experiencing at any given time. It wasn't really until Dad already had spent six months or so in his nearby nursing home that I finally learned how to just breathe, instead of react, whenever his weight rose unexpectedly or blood sugar spiked. And breathing, instead of reacting, made all the difference in our relationship.
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