Q: My urologist told me that my sperm are malfunctioning because they are shaped differently than normal sperm and are not moving as quickly as they should, and that I have a low quantity. He said this could result from a low hormone count. What can I do to increase my sperm count? I know that I should eat properly, but I don't know which foods supply the vitamins that will increase my levels of testosterone, sperm, semen and testosterone?
Q: I have been a widow for about three years. (I live with my son, a highly functional autistic man who is independent in most areas but needs my help financially.) I'd love to find a new romantic relationship again, but fear I am destined to be alone. I've tried dating sites and have met many men, but we only go out on a date or two and that's it. Either I don't feel any connection, which is not very often, or they don't, which happens more often. I'm attractive, and in good shape because I run marathons and do triathlons. Any suggestions on what I can do?
Q: Last year, I confessed to my wife of 35 years that I'd had affairs with several women approximately 20 years ago. She's in the process of forgiving me. We have agreed to move forward and have both seen counselors, separately. However, I feel she's not really moving forward, due to the questions she has about my affairs. She wants me to share my story of infidelity with her: How was I able to do it? How could I do this? I don't think it's in her best interest to know more than I've already shared. I'm trying to help her recover from the heartache I caused, but is it wise for me to keep the details of my indiscretions to myself?
Q: How (and when) do I tell a dating partner about my difficult family situation? I haven't dated in a long time (I'm 59, never married). This is partly due to being a caregiver - first for my dad, who had a stroke, and now my mom, who is recovering from a stroke , and my brother, who has schizophrenia and is in poor physical health. They do live independently, and with some help from community agencies, I don't have to do all the caregiving. Still, my mom does need my help frequently and my brother has crises from time to time. There are no other siblings and no other family nearby. I am seeing a therapist about setting boundaries, but the boundaries don't always work. I'm very lonely and would like to have some male companionship - even marriage, if things went in that direction. I feel that I've been shortchanged in this area of my life. I know everyone has baggage, but I'm afraid this situation might scare a guy off. What would you suggest?
Q: I am almost 65 years old and have never been married. My longest relationship lasted 10 months, right after I turned 40. Since then, I've done some online dating, and like the prospect of finding a partner. But I'm wondering if it's possible to find a long-term relationship at this stage of life? (You should also know that I've had five years of therapy that has made a huge difference in my life, and that my two sisters have similar histories.)
Q: I met someone on a cruise. I am 58 and he is 59. I've been divorced for roughly 20 years; he's been divorced three years after 30 years of marriage. We have a lot in common and although we live in different states and struggle with the long-distance issue, we've been trying to keep in touch weekly. He has invited me to come visit him. I have been out of the game so long I'm nervous about going! Any tips?
Q: I met a widower online last year. We started seeing each other and fell in love. I have been divorced for many years and he became a widower last year after being married for over 40 years. This is the first time I've seen anyone since I divorced. I have met his brothers, sisters, and his youngest son, who were very kind and friendly to me and were very happy for him. Also, my children are all fine with my seeing him and becoming involved. The one I worry about is his daughter: she does not want to meet me, which upsets him. I told him it would take time. How do I help him in this situation and how do I handle the situation once I do meet his daughter, knowing she does not want anything to do with me? I know she still grieves for her mother, which I understand because they were very close and she passed away last year. Please give me some advice. This is a new situation for me and I love him very much. He is happy with me, and he says I make him laugh, which he hasn't in a long time.
Felice Shapiro is a writer, entrepreneur, and publisher as well as the founder of Better After 50, a weekly online magazine. In addition to being a teacher and avid runner, hiker, and yogi, she is an AARP contributor.
Middle-aged men and women are the most avid users of dating websites. But while these sites have many advantages, they also bring serious drawbacks"”which a team of U.S. psychology professors has highlighted in a lengthy new report.
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