Q: My urologist told me that my sperm are malfunctioning because they are shaped differently than normal sperm and are not moving as quickly as they should, and that I have a low quantity. He said this could result from a low hormone count. What can I do to increase my sperm count? I know that I should eat properly, but I don't know which foods supply the vitamins that will increase my levels of testosterone, sperm, semen and testosterone?
Q: I just read your article about having a celibate marriage , and my marriage has turned into that. Although it's not due to any type of punishment - it's just that I have lost all interest in sex. I love my spouse; he loves me. There are no problems, no stresses. We get along great, but I just can't find the interest. My doctor said it was probably stress but I am retired and don't have any. I've talked to my spouse about it and he just accepts it. What can I do?
Q: The woman I married two years ago doesn't really know how to make love to me. I am 68, and my wife is 57. I still have the drive to have sex, but she is not used to initiating the first move. She doesn't like to kiss and isn't romantic at all. When I listen to soft music to try and get things started, she asks me why I play sad music. I have been patient with her as she tells me to try and work with her. But this is a very slow process. I need to know what I can do to help our sex life.
Q: I have been a widow for about three years. (I live with my son, a highly functional autistic man who is independent in most areas but needs my help financially.) I'd love to find a new romantic relationship again, but fear I am destined to be alone. I've tried dating sites and have met many men, but we only go out on a date or two and that's it. Either I don't feel any connection, which is not very often, or they don't, which happens more often. I'm attractive, and in good shape because I run marathons and do triathlons. Any suggestions on what I can do?
Q: Last year, I confessed to my wife of 35 years that I'd had affairs with several women approximately 20 years ago. She's in the process of forgiving me. We have agreed to move forward and have both seen counselors, separately. However, I feel she's not really moving forward, due to the questions she has about my affairs. She wants me to share my story of infidelity with her: How was I able to do it? How could I do this? I don't think it's in her best interest to know more than I've already shared. I'm trying to help her recover from the heartache I caused, but is it wise for me to keep the details of my indiscretions to myself?
Q: How (and when) do I tell a dating partner about my difficult family situation? I haven't dated in a long time (I'm 59, never married). This is partly due to being a caregiver - first for my dad, who had a stroke, and now my mom, who is recovering from a stroke , and my brother, who has schizophrenia and is in poor physical health. They do live independently, and with some help from community agencies, I don't have to do all the caregiving. Still, my mom does need my help frequently and my brother has crises from time to time. There are no other siblings and no other family nearby. I am seeing a therapist about setting boundaries, but the boundaries don't always work. I'm very lonely and would like to have some male companionship - even marriage, if things went in that direction. I feel that I've been shortchanged in this area of my life. I know everyone has baggage, but I'm afraid this situation might scare a guy off. What would you suggest?
Q: My age is 60. I am very active and energetic and would love to meet the perfect match for me, a partner for life. Dilemma: A few men my age or younger can no longer hold an erection. Thus, the protection of a condom no longer works because it comes off. However, men at this age are taken aback when I suggest that we have blood tests before having intercourse. I have received a lot of shocked looks, comments that I don't trust them, and a lack of willingness to go for a test before they know if I'm the one. What's a gal to do?
Q: I am almost 65 years old and have never been married. My longest relationship lasted 10 months, right after I turned 40. Since then, I've done some online dating, and like the prospect of finding a partner. But I'm wondering if it's possible to find a long-term relationship at this stage of life? (You should also know that I've had five years of therapy that has made a huge difference in my life, and that my two sisters have similar histories.)
Q: I met someone on a cruise. I am 58 and he is 59. I've been divorced for roughly 20 years; he's been divorced three years after 30 years of marriage. We have a lot in common and although we live in different states and struggle with the long-distance issue, we've been trying to keep in touch weekly. He has invited me to come visit him. I have been out of the game so long I'm nervous about going! Any tips?
Q: I met a widower online last year. We started seeing each other and fell in love. I have been divorced for many years and he became a widower last year after being married for over 40 years. This is the first time I've seen anyone since I divorced. I have met his brothers, sisters, and his youngest son, who were very kind and friendly to me and were very happy for him. Also, my children are all fine with my seeing him and becoming involved. The one I worry about is his daughter: she does not want to meet me, which upsets him. I told him it would take time. How do I help him in this situation and how do I handle the situation once I do meet his daughter, knowing she does not want anything to do with me? I know she still grieves for her mother, which I understand because they were very close and she passed away last year. Please give me some advice. This is a new situation for me and I love him very much. He is happy with me, and he says I make him laugh, which he hasn't in a long time.
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