lois joy johnson
What makes us orgasmically nostalgic — or is it nostalgically orgasmic? — whenever an oldie but goodie pops up as a “new” trend?
“Cyber Monday” may have come and gone, but sales-alert season is just getting started. So how can you keep your credit cards from lapsing into a coma by New Year’s Day? Prioritize, girlfriend!
Here’s a ratio that prevails at far too many holiday parties: 99 percent vanity, 1 percent fun.
When I’m not snapping the loose skin of my inner elbows or watching my upper arms jiggle in a sleeveless dress, you might find me anxiously scrutinizing my profile in my car’s rearview mirror. (Don’t worry — I pull over first.)
Fed up with “holiday” promotions, “special” makeup kits and “limited edition” shades? I know I am, especially given that it’s barely mid-November.
I lead a double life.
Gender-blending is nothing new for older women:
Stop turning green when you look at photos of famous people!
Peel off my skinny jeans and you’ll find some colorful secrets: blue ropy veins, red spider capillaries and brown spots. (As for those wobbly inner thighs that even my killer spin classes can’t seem to firm up, let’s not go there.)
I remember Woodstock even though I was there. Still, I have no plans to mosh my way through any rain-soaked music festivals this summer. Instead, all I want for May Day is a watertight beauty-and-style plan.