Q: I am a 50-year-old male. I shave my legs for various reasons, and my wife is OK with it. (She’s even told me how sexy it is in bed.) I also wear thong-style and men’s nylon underwear. Now I’d like to start wearing satin women’s underwear. How should I bring this up to my wife? It seems she’s already somewhat supportive.
Q: About 18 months ago I was put on AndroGel for low testosterone. It has worked well — my energy level is up, and so is my libido — but there’s a problem: I keep dreaming my wife is having sex with other men.
Q: In a recent column you said that in most long-term marriages that fail, men are generally the ones who cheat on their wives. I’d like to know where you got that information. The statistics I’ve read in the past few years show a higher incidence of infidelity from women than men.
Q: My husband and I both enjoy sex, but I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have been on all kinds of medication for 10-plus years. I cannot do without them. I also cannot achieve orgasm. I've been to so many doctors, and they all say the same thing: It's my meds. My question is: Do I have to pick between being happy on my meds, or having an orgasm? Lately it's getting hard to pick. I really need to reach orgasm. Is there anything I can do?
A recent Bloomberg article recapped an incident in a nursing home in which an employee walked in on two elderly residents, both diagnosed with dementia, having intercourse. The man was in his late 70s, the woman in her late 80s. The employee, a nurse, called for help and separated the two, but not without the woman clawing and screaming at them.
Q: Last year, I confessed to my wife of 35 years that I'd had affairs with several women approximately 20 years ago. She's in the process of forgiving me. We have agreed to move forward and have both seen counselors, separately. However, I feel she's not really moving forward, due to the questions she has about my affairs. She wants me to share my story of infidelity with her: How was I able to do it? How could I do this? I don't think it's in her best interest to know more than I've already shared. I'm trying to help her recover from the heartache I caused, but is it wise for me to keep the details of my indiscretions to myself?
Ginny Johnson's death brings back a lot of memories. I remember, as a new Ph.D. and young professor, sitting around many living rooms with her and her even more famous husband, Bill Masters, talking about sex research, about women in the field, and about differences in opinions between the behavioral scientists (my group) and the medical people (Bill's and, to some extent, Ginny's group).
Q: How (and when) do I tell a dating partner about my difficult family situation? I haven't dated in a long time (I'm 59, never married). This is partly due to being a caregiver - first for my dad, who had a stroke, and now my mom, who is recovering from a stroke , and my brother, who has schizophrenia and is in poor physical health. They do live independently, and with some help from community agencies, I don't have to do all the caregiving. Still, my mom does need my help frequently and my brother has crises from time to time. There are no other siblings and no other family nearby. I am seeing a therapist about setting boundaries, but the boundaries don't always work. I'm very lonely and would like to have some male companionship - even marriage, if things went in that direction. I feel that I've been shortchanged in this area of my life. I know everyone has baggage, but I'm afraid this situation might scare a guy off. What would you suggest?
Search AARP Blogs