On my first date since becoming single again, the guy tried to swoop down and kiss me. I counter-swooped out of range. I wondered, why do total strangers think I should press my lips against theirs?
The second man I went out with kissed me on the cheek. I figured that was OK, though my preference is to shake hands hello and goodbye on the first date.
When I shook hands with my third date, he said, “Oh, the old handshake thing.” I guess he thought it indicated that I didn’t want to date him anymore, and he was right.
My fourth date blocked my driver’s-side car door to snag a kiss.
When I told my fifth date that I don’t kiss on the first date, he asked, “Can we hold hands?” I said, “No, you are a complete stranger.” “It’s only holding hands,” he whined. I said that I understood but like to take it slow. He never called again.
One of my more recent dates requested a kiss and I told him, too, that I like to take it slow. He said that he understood, was divorced too, and the transition is difficult.
We went out four times without a single pucker, but before my fifth date I told myself, “I’m going to kiss that man tonight.” I did and even enjoyed it. It was odd not kissing the man I kissed for decades. That said, I surprised myself. I liked kissing this man more than kissing my “wasband,” whose allergies always interfered.
Now that I’ve have been on a few dozen dates, I’m starting to loosen up. I had two first dates this week and allowed both of them to kiss me goodbye. It no longer seems a big deal. I guess I’m growing up for a 57-year-old. I guess I like to kiss.
If you’re just starting to date, after many years of having only one kissing partner, try not to feel pressure to kiss on the first date. Take time to get comfortable. It’s a process.
There are plenty of other women who will kiss on the first date. It just so happens that I’m now one of them.
Coming Nov. 5: Dating Like a Man, Part One
*Names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy and security.
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