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Am I Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

Sea turtle

After half a year of visiting online dating sites, I’m a bit discouraged. I was hoping they would lead me to someone engaging, honest and sexy. That hasn't happened, but instead of giving up, I’ve started trying to meet people at different kinds of websites.

Conventional wisdom says, do what you love and you’re more likely to meet people you like. I love playing tennis, so I joined TennisRound, which pairs players of similar skill and location. To my delight, I’ve been playing tennis and meeting new people whenever I like. I even dated a player I met. If he’s healthy enough to run around the court, he’s healthy enough to chase me, and vice versa, off the court.

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Another website, Meetup, makes it easy to start a group with people who share an interest and want to get together in person. There are 627 Meetup groups in my area, including a “welcome to south Florida martini Tuesdays 55-and-older group,” a sassy classy mingles group, vegan potlucks and biking and kayaking groups. There’s even a past life regression group, which I’m not joining because I’ve regressed enough in this life.

Last weekend a girlfriend and I took the plunge with a Meetup group at a Thai restaurant. The turnout was terrific: 24 people. And when they finished strolling in, I noticed something all too familiar. There were 22 women and two men. If you’re in your 50s, that’s the ratio of single women to single men, I once read, and the ratio that inspired the title of my blog.

A few nights later, after signing up on a nature center’s website, I joined a non-Meetup activity, a turtle walk. It’s the time of year when ancient female turtles swim ashore, dig holes in the sand and lay their eggs. (At least somebody is mating regularly.) A few weeks later, tiny turtles hatch and scramble back to the sea. Only one in a thousand escapes becoming dinner for other sea creatures.

april 17 part colored April 17

It was an interesting subject, but even more fascinating? Once again, there were 24 participants at the event: 22 women and two men, and the men were partners. Aren’t men interested in nature? It’s not like I went to a yoga class or a Tupperware party. Where are the men?

Though disappointed, I won’t complain. My ratio is still better than a baby turtle’s.

 *Names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy and security.

Photo: RainervonBrandis/iStock

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