A recent first date was quite forthcoming. He suggested that I date like a man.
As a man, he dates multiple women at the same time and whittles away those he doesn’t like until only one he likes remains. He referred to the women he’s dating as his “harem.” It turned out that I became the woman he finally selected, and to no one’s surprise, the relationship didn’t last long.
It did, however, plant an idea. Why can’t a woman date more like a man? Might Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady have it right?
I’ve always been a sequential dater. I explore one relationship, and if that doesn’t work, I explore another. My approach began in first grade when a very nice boy, Peter, would carry my schoolbooks home for me. He had big brown eyes that melted my heart when he stared at me. That relationship might have worked if he hadn’t kept falling asleep in class. I think he had too much on his plate for a 7-year-old.
At age 8, I was dating older men — even a fifth-grader, in fact. He taught me how to tumble safely by carefully tucking my neck before I rolled. He became a chiropractor.
My pattern of virgin-based monogamy continued into middle and high school. I would select just one boy to be my beau, ride the wave of euphoric teenage male-female relationship and then move on to the next. I was a wonderful girlfriend. For example, though I didn’t smoke that funny stuff, my high school boyfriend and his male friends did. Both of my boyfriend’s parents worked full time, so after school I’d go to his empty house and cook for him and his friends with the munchies.
Today I’m age 50-plus and dating like a teenager again. Perhaps it’s more efficient to date multiple people at the same time. I took that recent date’s advice this past week and created my very own male harem. I dated four men. Next week, I’ll share my experiences.
Coming Nov. 12: Dating Like a Man, Part Two.
*Names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy and security.
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- What is flirting, anyway?
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