Why So Many Online Suitors Make Me Want to Scream

Here’s an all-too-typical opening line from a man reaching out to me on an online dating site: “You look like sweet nectar and I want to make you scream.”

I almost wrote back, “You’re right. You could make me scream, that is if I ever saw your face.”

Instead, I simply didn’t respond.

So many electronic suitors write that they are looking for a soul mate, when they show interest only in the mating part. Not all men, mind you, but I’d estimate 90 percent. They don’t even wait to get to know me before sending incredibly inappropriate messages. If not in the initial overture, sex soon enters the conversation.

Consider this exchange with one promising 40-year-old. He contacted me and asked if I date younger men. I told him I date based on compatibility, not chronological age.

He replied, “Well then, give me your address; I’m driving up now to see you.”

Followed by, “I will be there in an hour; no, make it an hour and a half — I have to pick up flowers.”

Then, “I can’t wait to seduce you.”

I answered, “That was very forward; please do not contact me again.” Thank goodness I hadn’t given him my address or name.

I recently met a lesbian. She was in a new relationship and told me that dating a woman is like dog years. What did she mean? “For every year you date a woman,” she said, “it is like seven years of emotional and physical intimacy compared to dating a man.”

That sounded intriguing, but unfortunately I’m attracted only to men.

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Nearly half a year after beginning to frequent online dating sites, I still hope to find a guy who will look me in the eye, tell me he loves and mean it — from his heart and brain, not just from his sex organ. But I need a respite from generic dating sites, so I’m taking a hiatus.

I’m going to concentrate on other sites that offer fun activities and meeting people. I’ll also refine my search and explore specialized dating sites in the hope of having better luck unearthing some down-to-earth men.

Coming July 30: Useful websites other than dating sites.

 *Names and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy and security.

Photo: leminuit/iStock

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