Sex & Relationships

As AARP's sex and relationship expert, Pepper Schwartz aims to improve the lives of the age-50-plus audience by enhancing their relationships and offering counsel on everything from sex and health issues to communication and dating.

Caitlyn Jenner Proves It’s Never Too Late to ‘Deal With Yourself’

Well, finally — the cultural conversation about gender and sexual identity has shifted, and all it took was some folks in their 60s and 70s to lead the way. Most notable, of course, is Caitlyn Jenner (right), who at 65 is about to conclude her very public transgender journey. But Jeffrey Tambor, 70, in the Amazon TV series Transparent, as well as the four 70-something stars of the new Netflix series Grace and Frankie are also mainstreaming the conversation about …

‘I Love You, But It Hurts’

Q: I have a genetic condition that makes my bones and joints stiff and painful, giving me absolutely NO interest in sex. In fact I couldn’t care less if the next man who touches me is the coroner! As you might imagine, my husband is not thrilled about this state of affairs; he could have sex two or three times a day. I offer to please him, but now he wants me to “get into it,” too, and I just …

On Different Sexual Wavelengths?

Q: My wife is rarely interested in sex and gets irritated when I drop hints about meeting in the bedroom or wherever. When the deed does (infrequently) occur, though, she has roaring orgasms — which I love to help with. You’d think that would be a plus, but we’re on different wavelengths, and now I worry about the “use it or lose it” thing setting in. A: Women’s sexual desire is a mystery — a mystery to experts, a mystery …

Monica Lewinsky: Victim of an Outdated Double Standard

In a story to be published by Vanity Fair magazine on May 8, Monica Lewinsky, now 40, relives the pain and humiliation of being shunned – really shunned – in the old-fashioned sense of the word. For nearly two decades since reports of her presidential dalliance stole the headlines in 1998, the former White House intern has been unable to land a job. “Because of what potential employers so tactfully referred to as my ‘history,’ ” she discloses in the …

What’s the Secret to a Happy, Long-Term Marriage?

What does it take to keep a marriage happy, vibrant and enduring? I’m asked that question all the time. And while I think couples all have their own unique recipes for success, I’ve noticed that most include these five essential ingredients: 1. The ability to apologize  Every person in every marriage makes mistakes. Some big, some small, but always some you wish you could un-do. That’s only human, but happy couples admit to their mistakes – and apologize. Just as important is …

How to Handle a Sexless Married Life

Q: As a survivor of childhood incest, I’ve been in therapy for close to 20 years. However – possibly because of the anti-depressants I take – my libido is dead and gone. My sexual parts are unresponsive. My doctor has suggested various treatments, including hormones, and my husband never complains; he loves me as I am and doesn’t want me to undergo painful procedures or take hormones. Is there anything you can suggest to help? I feel like my dear …