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Lois Joy Johnson

What makes us orgasmically nostalgic — or is it nostalgically orgasmic? — whenever an oldie but goodie pops up as a “new” trend?
“Cyber Monday” may have come and gone, but sales-alert season is just getting started. So how can you keep your credit cards from lapsing into a coma by New Year’s Day? Prioritize, girlfriend!
Here’s a ratio that prevails at far too many holiday parties: 99 percent vanity, 1 percent fun.
When I’m not snapping the loose skin of my inner elbows or watching my upper arms jiggle in a sleeveless dress, you might find me anxiously scrutinizing my profile in my car’s rearview mirror. (Don’t worry — I pull over first.)
Fed up with “holiday” promotions, “special” makeup kits and “limited edition” shades? I know I am, especially given that it’s barely mid-November.
I lead a double life.
As little girls, my daughters, now 41 and 31, loved Halloween: It was the one day of the year their black-clad fashion-editor mom didn’t stand out in the burbs.
When the New York Times reported last week that multiple ear piercings are catching on big-time with women over 30, I nearly spewed my latte.
Today’s high-tech beauty world was 50 years in the future when model Jean Shrimpton (right) peered from a pink space helmet for the April 1965 cover of Harper’s Bazaar.
Mistake 1: Believing you are too old or fat to wear trendy clothes.
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